I wrote this asking how to better market myself(34 M Bay Area) and I got my answer with an experiment today

TL;DR: Dating apps suck, they want your money... be more attractive, and don't live in an area where your demographic completely dominates (technology male in the bay area.)

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I wrote this... then rewrote it... then rewrote it again. I chose not to post it because I felt better with being more confident in myself.

https://i.imgur.com/9A6aciL.png

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After writing that prompt, I dug a little more into dating apps... and how profiles get seeded. Tinder, Bumble and other apps just basically can drop standings on how often your shown depending on algorithms, where your first picture can determine everything. From March to a few days ago, Tinder only had maybe around 12-15 "in queue" matches in those ~3 months. Bumble was crap and it showed I had 8 matches but never ever showed them in my queue even though I swiped everyday for around 3 weeks.

​

Yesterday I flew into Seattle... and decided that I needed to test my theory. I needed to get rid of some of my old first featured photos and replace them with some new professional photographs. So let's kill all the accounts and see what happens when I recreate my Tinder & Bumble accounts

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24 hours later...

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I have 30 potential tinder matches, already matched with one, 4 bumble matches with more incoming.

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Oh goodie... It's not like the Bay Area & Seattle are THAT much different but it was enough to help show me how horrible my area is.

​

Sure there are other influencing factors here, remade the account, using better pictures, but this all small tiny changes along with a major flaw in these apps. I also didn't even fill out what I want in my tinder/bumble profile, like basic information, what I'm looking for... All these matches were within 24 hours too. I'm guessing all those "boosts" and other paid services come in play, while a new account gets those benefits for a little while.

​

Anyways... I just wanted to share. I notice these issues and problems all the time everywhere. I also am hopeful about my future outside OLD. I got a woman I'm talking to that doesn't know if she is wanting to date now...

She doesn't know if she wants to stay in the area, still dealing with her LDR and is much younger. I know she's interested in me with our conversations, just unsure on her current wants & enjoying being single. I invited her to a BBQ and pushing doing things together as groups to show no pressure and ease her into the idea of dating again.

​

And maybe my own old LDR that I still like could turn around someday in the future. Not gonna wait on her but if she comes back and we're both single... boom! Gotta keep my head up.

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Thanks for reading. Finally posting my struggles I guess...

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Edit: added profile information differences



Submitted May 29, 2019 at 11:34PM

TL;DR: Dating apps suck, they want your money... be more attractive, and don't live in an area where your demographic completely dominates (technology male in the bay area.)​I wrote this... then rewrote it... then rewrote it again. I chose not to post it because I felt better with being more confident in myself.https://i.imgur.com/9A6aciL.png​After writing that prompt, I dug a little more into dating apps... and how profiles get seeded. Tinder, Bumble and other apps just basically can drop standings on how often your shown depending on algorithms, where your first picture can determine everything. From March to a few days ago, Tinder only had maybe around 12-15 "in queue" matches in those ~3 months. Bumble was crap and it showed I had 8 matches but never ever showed them in my queue even though I swiped everyday for around 3 weeks.​Yesterday I flew into Seattle... and decided that I needed to test my theory. I needed to get rid of some of my old first featured photos and replace them with some new professional photographs. So let's kill all the accounts and see what happens when I recreate my Tinder & Bumble accounts​24 hours later...​I have 30 potential tinder matches, already matched with one, 4 bumble matches with more incoming.​Oh goodie... It's not like the Bay Area & Seattle are THAT much different but it was enough to help show me how horrible my area is.​Sure there are other influencing factors here, remade the account, using better pictures, but this all small tiny changes along with a major flaw in these apps. I also didn't even fill out what I want in my tinder/bumble profile, like basic information, what I'm looking for... All these matches were within 24 hours too. I'm guessing all those "boosts" and other paid services come in play, while a new account gets those benefits for a little while.​Anyways... I just wanted to share. I notice these issues and problems all the time everywhere. I also am hopeful about my future outside OLD. I got a woman I'm talking to that doesn't know if she is wanting to date now...She doesn't know if she wants to stay in the area, still dealing with her LDR and is much younger. I know she's interested in me with our conversations, just unsure on her current wants & enjoying being single. I invited her to a BBQ and pushing doing things together as groups to show no pressure and ease her into the idea of dating again.​And maybe my own old LDR that I still like could turn around someday in the future. Not gonna wait on her but if she comes back and we're both single... boom! Gotta keep my head up.​Thanks for reading. Finally posting my struggles I guess...​Edit: added profile information differences
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