Is romantic love necessary?

I no longer feel romantic love for my husband. I want the best for him, but I don't want to have sex with him, and the emotional connection is pretty limited. There are plenty of reasons for this; we've been married 14 years, and I've changed a lot, we've had constant issues with his low sex drive and our communication, me feeling neglected and unloved, etc. We've been to counseling, improved a lot of things in the relationship, worked on our communication, and everything. And we'll do more of that. But so far, my feelings are not changing.

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He knows how I feel, and wants me to stay anyway. Should I? We have two kids (9&12), and a pretty solid family life. I have been pretty unhappy, but maybe I can find a way to be fulfilled by focusing on other interests and friendships. I'm trying to be open to the idea that maybe romantic love isn't necessary for our partnership to work. And who knows, maybe it might come back someday. I like being together with him and the kids. I don't like spending time with him one-on-one much at all, but I do like being a family unit.



Submitted May 29, 2019 at 10:44PM

I no longer feel romantic love for my husband. I want the best for him, but I don't want to have sex with him, and the emotional connection is pretty limited. There are plenty of reasons for this; we've been married 14 years, and I've changed a lot, we've had constant issues with his low sex drive and our communication, me feeling neglected and unloved, etc. We've been to counseling, improved a lot of things in the relationship, worked on our communication, and everything. And we'll do more of that. But so far, my feelings are not changing.​He knows how I feel, and wants me to stay anyway. Should I? We have two kids (9&12), and a pretty solid family life. I have been pretty unhappy, but maybe I can find a way to be fulfilled by focusing on other interests and friendships. I'm trying to be open to the idea that maybe romantic love isn't necessary for our partnership to work. And who knows, maybe it might come back someday. I like being together with him and the kids. I don't like spending time with him one-on-one much at all, but I do like being a family unit.
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