You text me or I text you? Do grown men still like a chase?

The age old question: "is he really that into me?" Has now evolved somehow into to "text or not to text?"

Let's say a lady (33F) meets a guy (31M) who have tons in common at similar places in life, talk for a few weeks, make plans to meet. He takes her on a wonderful date (recreation, fantastic dinner at upscale restaurant, home for movie and cuddling) and states how much he's enjoyed the company and conversation. I did end up staying night but it's because we're 2 hours apart. He does try to be more physical later that night but I politely declined and he was understanding. (Can you blame a guy for trying?). Followed with innocent cuddling off and on during night (his initiation), sweet kisses, and cuddles again in morning before he left for work. Communication is fairly "normal" next day. Granted he works a lot and has a high pressure, high stress job which he worked the next 4 days.

But he's still not as talkative as I'd prefer, not very reassuring. Date was 4 nights ago and no mention of getting together again. He does initiate text first, but limited. When I reply he gives these iPhone lazy "heart" or "thumbs up" on my texts. I hate that but he's always tended to do it occasionally. Probably at work?

*So here's what I want to know... * Is it ok to text him first sometimes or should I pretend to be more aloof? If he doesn't start suggesting we get together again soon should I ask what he sees in us? I feel like we're children and I'm in junior high again (do u like me check yes or no). I am a very blunt person and usually vocal about feelings so dating in the infancy stage has been super challenging for me.

I really don't want to waste my time but if there's a chance between us I don't want to be off putting. Truly he's the best match (personality, background, career, interests) I've found in quite some time.

Thoughts? Men, I'd love to hear your take on ladies texting first. Think really hard. Is it true that men still like a "Chase" even at 31?

TLDR: When is it appropriate for a lady to text first? Do men still want a bit of a challenge/Chase? When is it ok to ask how they see us proceeding, or if they want to continue to talk/date?

TLDR 2.0: Damnit dating is hard. Especially in my 30s. Does it ever get better??

Submitted May 29, 2019 at 04:00AM

The age old question: "is he really that into me?" Has now evolved somehow into to "text or not to text?"Let's say a lady (33F) meets a guy (31M) who have tons in common at similar places in life, talk for a few weeks, make plans to meet. He takes her on a wonderful date (recreation, fantastic dinner at upscale restaurant, home for movie and cuddling) and states how much he's enjoyed the company and conversation. I did end up staying night but it's because we're 2 hours apart. He does try to be more physical later that night but I politely declined and he was understanding. (Can you blame a guy for trying?). Followed with innocent cuddling off and on during night (his initiation), sweet kisses, and cuddles again in morning before he left for work. Communication is fairly "normal" next day. Granted he works a lot and has a high pressure, high stress job which he worked the next 4 days.But he's still not as talkative as I'd prefer, not very reassuring. Date was 4 nights ago and no mention of getting together again. He does initiate text first, but limited. When I reply he gives these iPhone lazy "heart" or "thumbs up" on my texts. I hate that but he's always tended to do it occasionally. Probably at work?*So here's what I want to know... * Is it ok to text him first sometimes or should I pretend to be more aloof? If he doesn't start suggesting we get together again soon should I ask what he sees in us? I feel like we're children and I'm in junior high again (do u like me check yes or no). I am a very blunt person and usually vocal about feelings so dating in the infancy stage has been super challenging for me.I really don't want to waste my time but if there's a chance between us I don't want to be off putting. Truly he's the best match (personality, background, career, interests) I've found in quite some time.Thoughts? Men, I'd love to hear your take on ladies texting first. Think really hard. Is it true that men still like a "Chase" even at 31?TLDR: When is it appropriate for a lady to text first? Do men still want a bit of a challenge/Chase? When is it ok to ask how they see us proceeding, or if they want to continue to talk/date?TLDR 2.0: Damnit dating is hard. Especially in my 30s. Does it ever get better??