My friend told me I (33M) lack self confidence and I'm not happy.

And she is right. But I don't know what to do. A year ago I got out of a very toxic and abusive relationship. I found out my girlfriend at the time was cheating on me with her boss. I stayed in the relationship to try and make it work, to win her back. This won't be a shocker to anyone... it didn't work out. It was a very painful break up. I lost my marbles. I blocked her completely out of my life and took a solid year off dating. I've noticed a HUGE improvement to my well being since doing that. I keep getting better and better... But it got pretty bad there for a while.

​

I'm back in the dating pool. I have gone on plenty of dates.. a majority from online dating apps like Hinge, Bumble and Raya. I've had fun meeting new people. For the most part, a lot of the dates have been just OK. Except the last two women I dated... I liked! Thought it was going well until they ghosted me.

It kicked up that previous pain from that toxic relationship I had a year ago. Am I not good enough? Am I not funny? Attractive? Smart?

Getting ghosted twice in a row killed my self confidence. I had a mental breakdown over the holiday weekend. I was sitting here alone, playing Call of Duty Black Ops 4 on XBOX (something I might have become addicted to whilst single), while I could hear parties all around the city. Some friends invited me out and I had a full blown anxiety attack. I haven't felt that type of anxiety since I found out my EX was screwing her boss during Christmas of 2017.

​

I try to get over my past. I've tried to trust again. I'm trying hard to be happy on my own... but I'm not.

​

I got so in my head before some of my recent dates that I didn't feel like myself when I was on them.. and that's probably why they ghosted me.

​

Any tips to get your happiness back? I feel like once I"m happy... maybe I'll attract the person I've always been looking for.



Submitted May 28, 2019 at 10:53PM

And she is right. But I don't know what to do. A year ago I got out of a very toxic and abusive relationship. I found out my girlfriend at the time was cheating on me with her boss. I stayed in the relationship to try and make it work, to win her back. This won't be a shocker to anyone... it didn't work out. It was a very painful break up. I lost my marbles. I blocked her completely out of my life and took a solid year off dating. I've noticed a HUGE improvement to my well being since doing that. I keep getting better and better... But it got pretty bad there for a while.​I'm back in the dating pool. I have gone on plenty of dates.. a majority from online dating apps like Hinge, Bumble and Raya. I've had fun meeting new people. For the most part, a lot of the dates have been just OK. Except the last two women I dated... I liked! Thought it was going well until they ghosted me.It kicked up that previous pain from that toxic relationship I had a year ago. Am I not good enough? Am I not funny? Attractive? Smart?Getting ghosted twice in a row killed my self confidence. I had a mental breakdown over the holiday weekend. I was sitting here alone, playing Call of Duty Black Ops 4 on XBOX (something I might have become addicted to whilst single), while I could hear parties all around the city. Some friends invited me out and I had a full blown anxiety attack. I haven't felt that type of anxiety since I found out my EX was screwing her boss during Christmas of 2017.​I try to get over my past. I've tried to trust again. I'm trying hard to be happy on my own... but I'm not.​I got so in my head before some of my recent dates that I didn't feel like myself when I was on them.. and that's probably why they ghosted me.​Any tips to get your happiness back? I feel like once I"m happy... maybe I'll attract the person I've always been looking for.
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