Husband (28M) asked me (27F) for a separation. We both agree the end goal is to reconcile.

It’s a very, very, long story. But basically like the title says, my husband of 2 years has asked for a separation. We have a young daughter (she was not planned, but we love her to pieces) who is turning 2 soon. We were together for 6+ years before I got pregnant with her. We got engaged and married and then I had her. I guess he feels like we “rushed into things” but I feel like we were going to end up married either way, this just kind of put us on the fast track. He recently got a job in his hometown. I was under the impression I was making this move with him. I went on a business trip, and over the trip I found out he has rented a house without telling me and is moving out. He plans to see my daughter every other weekend. I have to now move back in with my parents and try to pull my shit together and make a life here. We had occasional arguements but never anything I thought was earth-shattering, certainly not something I thought was with divorcing over. He has mental health issues, I fiercely believe he is bipolar, but he refuses help. He’s a great dad and my best friend. He says this is a seperation to become a better father and husband, but it I am terrified he will decide to make it permanent. He says he loves me and wants to be with me in the end, but things have to change in our relationship. I want to believe him, but I am so scared and confused. There is obviously a ton of other details I have to leave out for the sake of time. But basically he is starting a new life and job, which we thought we were coming along for, until a couple of days ago he decided to let me know that while I was on my work trip he felt happier alone when I was gone and it was just him and our daughter. Yet, he is still saying he wants to be with me. I am obviously beyond devastated and I just want some advice. He is saying he wants to seperate for now but is hoping to reconcile once he gets his shit together. Has anyone here separated and got back together? I have read that sometimes separating can be the best thing fir a marriage. No previous infedelity on my side or his, btw.

Also, I do not think anyone else is in the picture. He is not the type to cheat. I asked him several times and he swears up and down that this separation is because he is unhappy with himself and it has nothing to do with someone else. He also says I’m a great partner, he couldn’t find anyone better for him than me, etc. I just don’t understand why he is doing this and destroying the family and life we have. I think he’s making a huge mistake.

TL;DR: husband is moving out of our house to a new job and new city, asked us to not come along but hopes one day we can reconcile things.



Submitted May 28, 2019 at 11:48PM

It’s a very, very, long story. But basically like the title says, my husband of 2 years has asked for a separation. We have a young daughter (she was not planned, but we love her to pieces) who is turning 2 soon. We were together for 6+ years before I got pregnant with her. We got engaged and married and then I had her. I guess he feels like we “rushed into things” but I feel like we were going to end up married either way, this just kind of put us on the fast track. He recently got a job in his hometown. I was under the impression I was making this move with him. I went on a business trip, and over the trip I found out he has rented a house without telling me and is moving out. He plans to see my daughter every other weekend. I have to now move back in with my parents and try to pull my shit together and make a life here. We had occasional arguements but never anything I thought was earth-shattering, certainly not something I thought was with divorcing over. He has mental health issues, I fiercely believe he is bipolar, but he refuses help. He’s a great dad and my best friend. He says this is a seperation to become a better father and husband, but it I am terrified he will decide to make it permanent. He says he loves me and wants to be with me in the end, but things have to change in our relationship. I want to believe him, but I am so scared and confused. There is obviously a ton of other details I have to leave out for the sake of time. But basically he is starting a new life and job, which we thought we were coming along for, until a couple of days ago he decided to let me know that while I was on my work trip he felt happier alone when I was gone and it was just him and our daughter. Yet, he is still saying he wants to be with me. I am obviously beyond devastated and I just want some advice. He is saying he wants to seperate for now but is hoping to reconcile once he gets his shit together. Has anyone here separated and got back together? I have read that sometimes separating can be the best thing fir a marriage. No previous infedelity on my side or his, btw.Also, I do not think anyone else is in the picture. He is not the type to cheat. I asked him several times and he swears up and down that this separation is because he is unhappy with himself and it has nothing to do with someone else. He also says I’m a great partner, he couldn’t find anyone better for him than me, etc. I just don’t understand why he is doing this and destroying the family and life we have. I think he’s making a huge mistake.TL;DR: husband is moving out of our house to a new job and new city, asked us to not come along but hopes one day we can reconcile things.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more