Husband (28M) asked me (27F) for a separation. We both agree the end goal is to reconcile.

It’s a very, very, long story. But basically like the title says, my husband of 2 years has asked for a separation. We have a young daughter (she was not planned, but we love her to pieces) who is turning 2 soon. We were together for 6+ years before I got pregnant with her. We got engaged and married and then I had her. I guess he feels like we “rushed into things” but I feel like we were going to end up married either way, this just kind of put us on the fast track. He recently got a job in his hometown. I was under the impression I was making this move with him. I went on a business trip, and over the trip I found out he has rented a house without telling me and is moving out. He plans to see my daughter every other weekend. I have to now move back in with my parents and try to pull my shit together and make a life here. We had occasional arguements but never anything I thought was earth-shattering, certainly not something I thought was with divorcing over. He has mental health issues, I fiercely believe he is bipolar, but he refuses help. He’s a great dad and my best friend. He says this is a seperation to become a better father and husband, but it I am terrified he will decide to make it permanent. He says he loves me and wants to be with me in the end, but things have to change in our relationship. I want to believe him, but I am so scared and confused. There is obviously a ton of other details I have to leave out for the sake of time. But basically he is starting a new life and job, which we thought we were coming along for, until a couple of days ago he decided to let me know that while I was on my work trip he felt happier alone when I was gone and it was just him and our daughter. Yet, he is still saying he wants to be with me. I am obviously beyond devastated and I just want some advice. He is saying he wants to seperate for now but is hoping to reconcile once he gets his shit together. Has anyone here separated and got back together? I have read that sometimes separating can be the best thing fir a marriage. No previous infedelity on my side or his, btw.

Also, I do not think anyone else is in the picture. He is not the type to cheat. I asked him several times and he swears up and down that this separation is because he is unhappy with himself and it has nothing to do with someone else. He also says I’m a great partner, he couldn’t find anyone better for him than me, etc. I just don’t understand why he is doing this and destroying the family and life we have. I think he’s making a huge mistake.

TL;DR: husband is moving out of our house to a new job and new city, asked us to not come along but hopes one day we can reconcile things.

Submitted May 28, 2019 at 11:48PM

It’s a very, very, long story. But basically like the title says, my husband of 2 years has asked for a separation. We have a young daughter (she was not planned, but we love her to pieces) who is turning 2 soon. We were together for 6+ years before I got pregnant with her. We got engaged and married and then I had her. I guess he feels like we “rushed into things” but I feel like we were going to end up married either way, this just kind of put us on the fast track. He recently got a job in his hometown. I was under the impression I was making this move with him. I went on a business trip, and over the trip I found out he has rented a house without telling me and is moving out. He plans to see my daughter every other weekend. I have to now move back in with my parents and try to pull my shit together and make a life here. We had occasional arguements but never anything I thought was earth-shattering, certainly not something I thought was with divorcing over. He has mental health issues, I fiercely believe he is bipolar, but he refuses help. He’s a great dad and my best friend. He says this is a seperation to become a better father and husband, but it I am terrified he will decide to make it permanent. He says he loves me and wants to be with me in the end, but things have to change in our relationship. I want to believe him, but I am so scared and confused. There is obviously a ton of other details I have to leave out for the sake of time. But basically he is starting a new life and job, which we thought we were coming along for, until a couple of days ago he decided to let me know that while I was on my work trip he felt happier alone when I was gone and it was just him and our daughter. Yet, he is still saying he wants to be with me. I am obviously beyond devastated and I just want some advice. He is saying he wants to seperate for now but is hoping to reconcile once he gets his shit together. Has anyone here separated and got back together? I have read that sometimes separating can be the best thing fir a marriage. No previous infedelity on my side or his, btw.Also, I do not think anyone else is in the picture. He is not the type to cheat. I asked him several times and he swears up and down that this separation is because he is unhappy with himself and it has nothing to do with someone else. He also says I’m a great partner, he couldn’t find anyone better for him than me, etc. I just don’t understand why he is doing this and destroying the family and life we have. I think he’s making a huge mistake.TL;DR: husband is moving out of our house to a new job and new city, asked us to not come along but hopes one day we can reconcile things.