Lots of time on apps but no dates

So I'm a 25M with absolutely 0 dating experience and I'm at a point now where it's starting to bother me a bit. I graduated with a BS degree a couple years ago and have a great job that I really enjoy and that pays me quite well. Overall I'd say I'm doing pretty well for someone my age and a lot of people I talk to seem to be kind of jealous of my career and financial situation in general. I'm also about 6'5 and weigh roughly 195 lb, workout regularly, and have a relatively athletic build albeit slightly on the slimmer side. My physical appearance is definitely not an issue (although I have a very limited selection of good pictures which kinda sucks but oh well).

I'm actually a pretty confident person but for some reason that confidence is completely lacking when it comes to the dating game. I've been on and off on apps like Tinder and Bumble for the last few years and have probably talked to a few hundred girls over time. The problem is that I have never been on a single date yet which is pretty frustrating since I usually get an ample amount of matches on these apps.

To be completely honest, at first I used to just message girls and have conversations with them but had no intention of actually meeting up with any of them. Sometimes the conversations would become a bit awkward because I was essentially just dragging them out by talking about random things all the time. I think at a certain point these girls realized that I was never going to ask them out so they'd usually just stop talking to me and probably move on and talk to other guys out there.

I've recently changed my approach and have actually started asking girls if they'd like to meet up with me if I felt that we had some chemistry based on our conversations. I've had a pretty good success rate and a lot of them just give me their phone numbers without me even asking. I started texting the girls that gave me their numbers but ended up doing the same thing I did on the apps - dragging out the conversations with random topics. I'm not afraid of actually meeting up with someone in person, but since I've never been on a date before I keep thinking that it'll turn out to be an absolute disaster or something.

So now I feel bad because some girls out there seemed genuinely interested in me but I basically ghosted them even after I got their numbers and could've easily met up with them. I've actually had some who asked me out too which is obviously something that most girls are not super comfortable doing. This is clearly not a very healthy way of thinking, but I try to justify my inability to set up dates with those girls by telling myself that X girl was "not attractive enough," "not smart enough," "too weird," etc.

I've never been a particularly outgoing person and the thought of being in a relationship seems like such a foreign idea to me. I know this sounds kinda sad, but if I did end up going on a date I feel like it would be one of the most significant events in my life lol.

So my question is....should I get back on these apps and try to meet someone that way or put myself out there in real life and try to meet in a more "organic" manner? Keep in mind that I have no dating experience whatsoever. Tbh, I feel like an asshole right now for ghosting all those girls out there who were clearly interested in me.

Submitted May 29, 2019 at 04:00AM

So I'm a 25M with absolutely 0 dating experience and I'm at a point now where it's starting to bother me a bit. I graduated with a BS degree a couple years ago and have a great job that I really enjoy and that pays me quite well. Overall I'd say I'm doing pretty well for someone my age and a lot of people I talk to seem to be kind of jealous of my career and financial situation in general. I'm also about 6'5 and weigh roughly 195 lb, workout regularly, and have a relatively athletic build albeit slightly on the slimmer side. My physical appearance is definitely not an issue (although I have a very limited selection of good pictures which kinda sucks but oh well).I'm actually a pretty confident person but for some reason that confidence is completely lacking when it comes to the dating game. I've been on and off on apps like Tinder and Bumble for the last few years and have probably talked to a few hundred girls over time. The problem is that I have never been on a single date yet which is pretty frustrating since I usually get an ample amount of matches on these apps.To be completely honest, at first I used to just message girls and have conversations with them but had no intention of actually meeting up with any of them. Sometimes the conversations would become a bit awkward because I was essentially just dragging them out by talking about random things all the time. I think at a certain point these girls realized that I was never going to ask them out so they'd usually just stop talking to me and probably move on and talk to other guys out there.I've recently changed my approach and have actually started asking girls if they'd like to meet up with me if I felt that we had some chemistry based on our conversations. I've had a pretty good success rate and a lot of them just give me their phone numbers without me even asking. I started texting the girls that gave me their numbers but ended up doing the same thing I did on the apps - dragging out the conversations with random topics. I'm not afraid of actually meeting up with someone in person, but since I've never been on a date before I keep thinking that it'll turn out to be an absolute disaster or something.So now I feel bad because some girls out there seemed genuinely interested in me but I basically ghosted them even after I got their numbers and could've easily met up with them. I've actually had some who asked me out too which is obviously something that most girls are not super comfortable doing. This is clearly not a very healthy way of thinking, but I try to justify my inability to set up dates with those girls by telling myself that X girl was "not attractive enough," "not smart enough," "too weird," etc.I've never been a particularly outgoing person and the thought of being in a relationship seems like such a foreign idea to me. I know this sounds kinda sad, but if I did end up going on a date I feel like it would be one of the most significant events in my life lol.So my question is....should I get back on these apps and try to meet someone that way or put myself out there in real life and try to meet in a more "organic" manner? Keep in mind that I have no dating experience whatsoever. Tbh, I feel like an asshole right now for ghosting all those girls out there who were clearly interested in me.