How do I tell if my gut feeling is off or if something is actually wrong?

I've been dating someone for 5 months now. She's great and we basically live together half of the week. We've gone away on a few trips together and things have been getting fairly serious. We talk on the phone each night for 30min - 1hr. We already said "I love you"-- she said it first 1.5 months in and I said it back. She talks about spending years together.

Anyways, I've been feeling 'off' about some of her behavior lately. Since we met we've been going to the gym together (her gym), but all of a sudden she prefers to workout alone. When I suggest joining her she gives me reasons of why I shouldn't, like that I should sleep in and it's too early for me. For some reason this little thing makes me feel odd about it. She used to be enthusiastic about us going together, but now she's deterring me from joining her each time I suggest coming. Last time I went with her a fit guy who seemed to know her stopped her and chatted, someone I've never met and I know of all her friends. When I asked her about him she told me he's gay, and I asked her why do you think that? She never gave a good reason at all and seemed to only say it because I seemed insecure about it. Also, when I do go to the gym with her she's been using the treadmill in the far back, almost hiding from view of people, when she used to always use the front treadmills in plain view.

I feel like she doesn't want me to join her and it irks me as to why, especially since I'm an avid gym goer too. We used to maximize our time together, but now she says she's going to the gym and disappears for 2hrs almost each day we're together. And before she leaves she makes sure she looks good in the mirror and wears her tights and a sports bra. Maybe she likes the male attention she gets there without me there? Maybe she met someone? These thoughts flow through my mind. She met two boyfriends in the past at gyms -- it's how she meets guys.

She used to find ways to maximize her time with me. Now it's me always trying to find ways to see her more, while she seems more relaxed about it. She criticizes me more than before. She seems to want less sex and never initiates anymore. We still have our nightly talks on the phone every night, so that's good. But something feels "off", and I really doubt she would admit it if I asked her. I know I can be insecure, so I'm not sure if I'm imagining this or if she's actually distancing herself or found someone else. Something feels different, and I'm not sure what to do? Do I pull back and detach? We have two trips planned next month (one is for my bday).

Submitted May 29, 2019 at 03:19AM

I've been dating someone for 5 months now. She's great and we basically live together half of the week. We've gone away on a few trips together and things have been getting fairly serious. We talk on the phone each night for 30min - 1hr. We already said "I love you"-- she said it first 1.5 months in and I said it back. She talks about spending years together.Anyways, I've been feeling 'off' about some of her behavior lately. Since we met we've been going to the gym together (her gym), but all of a sudden she prefers to workout alone. When I suggest joining her she gives me reasons of why I shouldn't, like that I should sleep in and it's too early for me. For some reason this little thing makes me feel odd about it. She used to be enthusiastic about us going together, but now she's deterring me from joining her each time I suggest coming. Last time I went with her a fit guy who seemed to know her stopped her and chatted, someone I've never met and I know of all her friends. When I asked her about him she told me he's gay, and I asked her why do you think that? She never gave a good reason at all and seemed to only say it because I seemed insecure about it. Also, when I do go to the gym with her she's been using the treadmill in the far back, almost hiding from view of people, when she used to always use the front treadmills in plain view.I feel like she doesn't want me to join her and it irks me as to why, especially since I'm an avid gym goer too. We used to maximize our time together, but now she says she's going to the gym and disappears for 2hrs almost each day we're together. And before she leaves she makes sure she looks good in the mirror and wears her tights and a sports bra. Maybe she likes the male attention she gets there without me there? Maybe she met someone? These thoughts flow through my mind. She met two boyfriends in the past at gyms -- it's how she meets guys.She used to find ways to maximize her time with me. Now it's me always trying to find ways to see her more, while she seems more relaxed about it. She criticizes me more than before. She seems to want less sex and never initiates anymore. We still have our nightly talks on the phone every night, so that's good. But something feels "off", and I really doubt she would admit it if I asked her. I know I can be insecure, so I'm not sure if I'm imagining this or if she's actually distancing herself or found someone else. Something feels different, and I'm not sure what to do? Do I pull back and detach? We have two trips planned next month (one is for my bday).