Those of you looking for a relationship, do you ask "what are you looking for?" on the first few dates, particularly when online dating? Why or not? If you don't ask, how do you figure out what the other person wants? [x-post r/dating_advice]

I've heard arguments for and against this. Some say it's good to ask because it prevents people from wasting your time if you're looking for a relationship.

However, I've also heard arguments against this -- those arguments state that asking this is putting the idea of a relationship before the actual person. What's your stance? If you don't ask, how do you figure out what the other person wants?

I've heard arguments that say you might scare the person away if you ask this and state that you're looking for a relationship so early on, but I've also heard the rebuttal that the right person wouldn't be scared away.



Submitted May 29, 2019 at 04:08AM

I've heard arguments for and against this. Some say it's good to ask because it prevents people from wasting your time if you're looking for a relationship.However, I've also heard arguments against this -- those arguments state that asking this is putting the idea of a relationship before the actual person. What's your stance? If you don't ask, how do you figure out what the other person wants?I've heard arguments that say you might scare the person away if you ask this and state that you're looking for a relationship so early on, but I've also heard the rebuttal that the right person wouldn't be scared away.
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