What do we talk when we talk about love...

So this might be a huge post.. and I'm sorry for that. I could've posted this in different subreddits i know... But i guess i had a gut instinct to come over here ..

What is love?

I've always asked myself that question... Love Isn't just restricted to your partner/better half... Several factors, several relations, and most importantly, several relationships can be defined in the concept of love. And although there are several of those concepts, theres a distinct difference between each of them... I've never been able to experience most of them...

The most important factor, family... I guess everyone can agree that family will always be the first place where one can experience love... As the Tully words go family, duty, honour. There's a reason family stands firmly as the first.

I've never experienced that love... Dad left us to rot perse, 12 years ago. Had a few bad encounters with that person through the years... It was difficult to grow without a father and see other people hug and chant my father is a hero while i just looked on and wondered what they meant. I gotta say, i still haven't gotten over that... Mom is a narcissistic bitch and i was never able to connect with her. Infact, she never sought that connection in the first place. I was always shunned aside to make way for her grand crusaders... She always got the sympathy from the seperation, she always had a shoulder to cry on. I was never given that same treatment by my family... I've never been able to say i love you to her. The things have gotten so bad that I can't stand to look at her face. And it doesn't even matter cause she doesn't even care. I've forsaken the statement they love you in their own way... or they do care, but don't show... Sometimes, they just don't do that... Believe me when I say that... Thats two people gone... Grandmother never really accepted me cause i was a boy, who resembled his father too much. Its been 12 years and my grandfather hasn't looked me in the eyes. We haven't had more than a few words in all these years.. The rest of the members, well they're pretty much useless...

Next up... Friends!! This is one time when I'll say that I'm glad I've these people in my life... I couldn't have asked for better companions through this path... I love them and as i said... I'm glad I've them in my life. Guess I'm not completely robbed of love... Thanks guys... Ofcourse even though I've said that, I'll also put this experience down... You're not everyone's cup of tea... So don't try to be one. Maybe you're a 180 year old wine... I went through a shitty phase trying to understand this... And I'm still grief stricken at how the things have gone south for me. I'm completely and utterly broken... All because of friendship... This is the perfect place for a question; they say it always gets a whole Lotta worse before it gets a whole Lotta better, but nobody mentions what one must do when it gets a whole Lotta worse again... What does one do??

And finally... The love of my life. I've never had one...

Story time; one of my best friends told me a story which got me thinking... She was going through a tough time back then.. One night, she wished for a miracle. She wished for a person who'd take all her troubles away... And that person appeared.. they had their first anniversary two months back, and i have never been happier for her...

I know this is kind of selfish of me, but I've been wishing for a miracle for the last so many years. I know people say that the time will come, but at the same time one must know, how long should one wait? I haven't had many years to put behind me, i know... But even so.. I can't expect my friends to always be there for me, cause every single one of them has a commitment of their own. And its a different feeling altogether, to call a person your own. Someone who walks with you through your sadness and paves a path to your happiness...

I've never experienced the feeling of love. With friends, yes... But other than that, none.. i really wanna know how it feels like. All the knowledge I've about love is from reading all those romance books years ago when i was in college, trying to decipher the meaning of love... But i know now that those books aren't faithful...

Its really thought-provoking for me when I walk down this path alone and I don't get anyone to walk with me. One must understand that I can't always ask people around me... And one must know that I've walked alone for too long. Love oneself? I learnt that myself... Walking alone? I've done that too long... I can't do either of those... I guess I'm just looking for a comfort in a different person. To love and to be loved are one of the best things ever. And to be loved by the person you call your own can be the best thing ever .. and I'm just wondering when my miracle will happen... I just want my miracle...

It gets a whole Lotta better before it gets a whole lotta worse... But I'm caught in the whole lotta worse after it got a whole lotta better.. Ya... That pretty much sums it up...

I'm sorry for all the ramble. I know i could've posted this in a different subreddit... But i just wanted you guys to have a say... From the perspective of love... And I'm sorry for the long read... And thank you for sticking till the end if you did...

So tell me, what does one talk about when they talk about love?

Submitted May 25, 2019 at 03:33AM

So this might be a huge post.. and I'm sorry for that. I could've posted this in different subreddits i know... But i guess i had a gut instinct to come over here ..What is love?I've always asked myself that question... Love Isn't just restricted to your partner/better half... Several factors, several relations, and most importantly, several relationships can be defined in the concept of love. And although there are several of those concepts, theres a distinct difference between each of them... I've never been able to experience most of them...The most important factor, family... I guess everyone can agree that family will always be the first place where one can experience love... As the Tully words go family, duty, honour. There's a reason family stands firmly as the first.I've never experienced that love... Dad left us to rot perse, 12 years ago. Had a few bad encounters with that person through the years... It was difficult to grow without a father and see other people hug and chant my father is a hero while i just looked on and wondered what they meant. I gotta say, i still haven't gotten over that... Mom is a narcissistic bitch and i was never able to connect with her. Infact, she never sought that connection in the first place. I was always shunned aside to make way for her grand crusaders... She always got the sympathy from the seperation, she always had a shoulder to cry on. I was never given that same treatment by my family... I've never been able to say i love you to her. The things have gotten so bad that I can't stand to look at her face. And it doesn't even matter cause she doesn't even care. I've forsaken the statement they love you in their own way... or they do care, but don't show... Sometimes, they just don't do that... Believe me when I say that... Thats two people gone... Grandmother never really accepted me cause i was a boy, who resembled his father too much. Its been 12 years and my grandfather hasn't looked me in the eyes. We haven't had more than a few words in all these years.. The rest of the members, well they're pretty much useless...Next up... Friends!! This is one time when I'll say that I'm glad I've these people in my life... I couldn't have asked for better companions through this path... I love them and as i said... I'm glad I've them in my life. Guess I'm not completely robbed of love... Thanks guys... Ofcourse even though I've said that, I'll also put this experience down... You're not everyone's cup of tea... So don't try to be one. Maybe you're a 180 year old wine... I went through a shitty phase trying to understand this... And I'm still grief stricken at how the things have gone south for me. I'm completely and utterly broken... All because of friendship... This is the perfect place for a question; they say it always gets a whole Lotta worse before it gets a whole Lotta better, but nobody mentions what one must do when it gets a whole Lotta worse again... What does one do??And finally... The love of my life. I've never had one...Story time; one of my best friends told me a story which got me thinking... She was going through a tough time back then.. One night, she wished for a miracle. She wished for a person who'd take all her troubles away... And that person appeared.. they had their first anniversary two months back, and i have never been happier for her...I know this is kind of selfish of me, but I've been wishing for a miracle for the last so many years. I know people say that the time will come, but at the same time one must know, how long should one wait? I haven't had many years to put behind me, i know... But even so.. I can't expect my friends to always be there for me, cause every single one of them has a commitment of their own. And its a different feeling altogether, to call a person your own. Someone who walks with you through your sadness and paves a path to your happiness...I've never experienced the feeling of love. With friends, yes... But other than that, none.. i really wanna know how it feels like. All the knowledge I've about love is from reading all those romance books years ago when i was in college, trying to decipher the meaning of love... But i know now that those books aren't faithful...Its really thought-provoking for me when I walk down this path alone and I don't get anyone to walk with me. One must understand that I can't always ask people around me... And one must know that I've walked alone for too long. Love oneself? I learnt that myself... Walking alone? I've done that too long... I can't do either of those... I guess I'm just looking for a comfort in a different person. To love and to be loved are one of the best things ever. And to be loved by the person you call your own can be the best thing ever .. and I'm just wondering when my miracle will happen... I just want my miracle...It gets a whole Lotta better before it gets a whole lotta worse... But I'm caught in the whole lotta worse after it got a whole lotta better.. Ya... That pretty much sums it up...I'm sorry for all the ramble. I know i could've posted this in a different subreddit... But i just wanted you guys to have a say... From the perspective of love... And I'm sorry for the long read... And thank you for sticking till the end if you did...So tell me, what does one talk about when they talk about love?