Can an insecure trauma victim like me find love?...

I'm just curious... I'm a shy and nervous 26 year old virgin guy who was sexually abused by my father when I was little. I've suffered from PTSD and social/sexual anxiety ever since. Relationships (especially the romantic kind) scare the shit outta me... I'm currently working on these issues with a therapist, and have come a long way from where I was, I just at the same time would just like to know if it's even possible for someone like me to find a meaningful relationship out there some day...

I realize that fixing my own issues come first, and that I need to learn to be happy with myself before getting into a relationship with anyone and all that. I have a lot more personal work to do before that. But, I just feel sometimes that I'm so emotionally vulnerable and insecure that even at the best point I could possibly be at that I'd just be opening myself up for devastation... No matter what I do, I still just feel like a scared little boy. Like the trauma just has me stuck in the same state I was at when it happened... I don't feel like a man... I'm so insecure and lack so much confidence in myself, I just don't see how any girl could be attracted to that sort of thing...

I guess I mainly want to know if there are trauma victims like me who've been able to find some sort of meaningful romantic connection with someone, and if so, then perhaps I'll have more hope and motivation for pursuing that goal at some point...



Submitted May 25, 2019 at 12:48AM

I'm just curious... I'm a shy and nervous 26 year old virgin guy who was sexually abused by my father when I was little. I've suffered from PTSD and social/sexual anxiety ever since. Relationships (especially the romantic kind) scare the shit outta me... I'm currently working on these issues with a therapist, and have come a long way from where I was, I just at the same time would just like to know if it's even possible for someone like me to find a meaningful relationship out there some day...I realize that fixing my own issues come first, and that I need to learn to be happy with myself before getting into a relationship with anyone and all that. I have a lot more personal work to do before that. But, I just feel sometimes that I'm so emotionally vulnerable and insecure that even at the best point I could possibly be at that I'd just be opening myself up for devastation... No matter what I do, I still just feel like a scared little boy. Like the trauma just has me stuck in the same state I was at when it happened... I don't feel like a man... I'm so insecure and lack so much confidence in myself, I just don't see how any girl could be attracted to that sort of thing...I guess I mainly want to know if there are trauma victims like me who've been able to find some sort of meaningful romantic connection with someone, and if so, then perhaps I'll have more hope and motivation for pursuing that goal at some point...
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