Using dating to measure personal growth

So, I (29F) haven’t dated since 2016. Things fizzled out with a guy and two months later I was sexually harassed at work. Coworker was fired at the end of it all. It left me with a lot of emotional baggage and I had zero desire to date again after that just because I felt unable to trust men. Last year I got laid off and wasn’t ready to date while unemployed (I take pride in being self sufficient). Basically, it’s been a WHILE. Last week though I decided to try OLD again.

I matched with a guy and we got on well and had plenty in common. He started passive aggressively commenting about things going nowhere but was still continuing the conversation. I asked him about it and we’d decided our signals were crossed and we were both interested. The next day he made a few more other passive aggressive comments and mentioned it was the start of a beautiful friendship and that was it for me, as I’m not looking for more friends.

Now, I’m fine with moving on from that but it’s interesting to note how much I’ve actually changed. Obviously, people grow up but I don’t think I’ve thought about it explicitly. In the past that interaction would’ve really upset me, I would’ve wondered what was wrong with me, and I would’ve played right into whatever was happening. I’ve actually been in that situation before and the difference is really stark. This time, I was honest and straightforward and though I was disappointed, I was also okay. To me that’s huge. And crazy. And fascinating.

I guess my question is if you’ve noticed ways in which your approach to dating has changed? Or you have changed? Can you pinpoint how you’ve evolved the last few years through the ways in which you navigate relationships?

Submitted May 25, 2019 at 04:14AM

So, I (29F) haven’t dated since 2016. Things fizzled out with a guy and two months later I was sexually harassed at work. Coworker was fired at the end of it all. It left me with a lot of emotional baggage and I had zero desire to date again after that just because I felt unable to trust men. Last year I got laid off and wasn’t ready to date while unemployed (I take pride in being self sufficient). Basically, it’s been a WHILE. Last week though I decided to try OLD again.I matched with a guy and we got on well and had plenty in common. He started passive aggressively commenting about things going nowhere but was still continuing the conversation. I asked him about it and we’d decided our signals were crossed and we were both interested. The next day he made a few more other passive aggressive comments and mentioned it was the start of a beautiful friendship and that was it for me, as I’m not looking for more friends.Now, I’m fine with moving on from that but it’s interesting to note how much I’ve actually changed. Obviously, people grow up but I don’t think I’ve thought about it explicitly. In the past that interaction would’ve really upset me, I would’ve wondered what was wrong with me, and I would’ve played right into whatever was happening. I’ve actually been in that situation before and the difference is really stark. This time, I was honest and straightforward and though I was disappointed, I was also okay. To me that’s huge. And crazy. And fascinating.I guess my question is if you’ve noticed ways in which your approach to dating has changed? Or you have changed? Can you pinpoint how you’ve evolved the last few years through the ways in which you navigate relationships?