I (36M) am feeling like my GF (38F) of 4 months is phasing me out of her life. Am I being too dramatic?

I have a very heavy heart tonight.

My GF and I have been together for nearly 4 months. We started dating mutually exclusively from the start. After dating for 2 months I asked her to be my Gf and she was very excited. As a matter of fact she was very excited to have found me in the beginning. We have similar expectations from each other and our future. We both want kids, and start a family.

She had been wanting to buy her own place and IMO she deserves it. She's got a great career and had been saving to buy her first home. 2 months ago, she found "the place" and bought it. And in the last month she's been trying to get the place repaired before moving in, pack, and look for furniture, tiles, etc. She already has a very busy work schedule and all these new tasks seem to have overwhelmed her.

I've been trying to be nothing but supportive, always offering to help and be there for her. That's the least I can do.

But in the last month we started seeing each other less and less at which point I decided to have a talk with her. I acknowledged the fact that she was busy, and I said, "all I'm trying to do is be there for you."

I said, the only way we can still maintain a relationship and do all these tasks ahead was to tackle them together. i want to be a part of her life and feel included, which I think is a reasonable expectation in a committed relationship at our age. I added that I felt like she didn't feel comfortable to include me in her life and saw me as a distraction. She had called me being a sweet distraction but nonetheless it's still not a pleasant thing to hear. She responded by saying that she didn't intentionally do anything but can see how it can look that way. She added that the next couple of weeks may be too busy, which I found to be a sign of me not being in the picture.

I feel like I'm not prioritized in any way. It's not like she has told me, if there was something missing in the relationship or something about me wasn't right. What I thought was a progressing relationship in the first 2.5 months has been taken over by her fantasy of having her first place and decorate it the way she envisioned in the past. Our relationship has become very superficial. I can tell she is very passionate about how she wants her place to look like from the amount of work she puts in. I feel like I shouldn't take this personal but also I don't think there is a man in this fantasy of hers in her new home. She seems to have built her identity around being an independent woman and there isn't a place for any man in this picture for a long time.

We had planned on moving her place over the weekend. Her family was going to help her move and I was going to give them a hand as well. This was also going to be an opportunity for me to meet them for the first time. I strongly believe that tackling obstacles together in life builds strong relationships. To my surprise I received a text from her tonight saying that I may not be needed tomorrow because they have decided to pack everything up and move today. When I asked, if they'd need me for anything tomorrow or have a meal together, the answer I got was, "you should plan your day like it'll be free so you can enjoy your day tomorrow."

At this point, I feel like it's over. Am I being too dramatic or has this relationship been over for awhile?

Please go easy on me. I already have a heavy heart.

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TL:DR My Gf (38F) of 4 months is having a hard time putting me at a certain place in her life. She seems to be overwhelmed with the amount of things she has to do such as moving, work, renovations, relationship. Instead of a balanced life approach, she chooses to phase me out of her life for the time being, as she refuses to accept my help on anything she has to do. At this point, I feel like it's over. Am I being too dramatic or has this relationship been over for awhile?

Submitted May 25, 2019 at 06:23AM

I have a very heavy heart tonight.My GF and I have been together for nearly 4 months. We started dating mutually exclusively from the start. After dating for 2 months I asked her to be my Gf and she was very excited. As a matter of fact she was very excited to have found me in the beginning. We have similar expectations from each other and our future. We both want kids, and start a family.She had been wanting to buy her own place and IMO she deserves it. She's got a great career and had been saving to buy her first home. 2 months ago, she found "the place" and bought it. And in the last month she's been trying to get the place repaired before moving in, pack, and look for furniture, tiles, etc. She already has a very busy work schedule and all these new tasks seem to have overwhelmed her.I've been trying to be nothing but supportive, always offering to help and be there for her. That's the least I can do.But in the last month we started seeing each other less and less at which point I decided to have a talk with her. I acknowledged the fact that she was busy, and I said, "all I'm trying to do is be there for you."I said, the only way we can still maintain a relationship and do all these tasks ahead was to tackle them together. i want to be a part of her life and feel included, which I think is a reasonable expectation in a committed relationship at our age. I added that I felt like she didn't feel comfortable to include me in her life and saw me as a distraction. She had called me being a sweet distraction but nonetheless it's still not a pleasant thing to hear. She responded by saying that she didn't intentionally do anything but can see how it can look that way. She added that the next couple of weeks may be too busy, which I found to be a sign of me not being in the picture.I feel like I'm not prioritized in any way. It's not like she has told me, if there was something missing in the relationship or something about me wasn't right. What I thought was a progressing relationship in the first 2.5 months has been taken over by her fantasy of having her first place and decorate it the way she envisioned in the past. Our relationship has become very superficial. I can tell she is very passionate about how she wants her place to look like from the amount of work she puts in. I feel like I shouldn't take this personal but also I don't think there is a man in this fantasy of hers in her new home. She seems to have built her identity around being an independent woman and there isn't a place for any man in this picture for a long time.We had planned on moving her place over the weekend. Her family was going to help her move and I was going to give them a hand as well. This was also going to be an opportunity for me to meet them for the first time. I strongly believe that tackling obstacles together in life builds strong relationships. To my surprise I received a text from her tonight saying that I may not be needed tomorrow because they have decided to pack everything up and move today. When I asked, if they'd need me for anything tomorrow or have a meal together, the answer I got was, "you should plan your day like it'll be free so you can enjoy your day tomorrow."At this point, I feel like it's over. Am I being too dramatic or has this relationship been over for awhile?Please go easy on me. I already have a heavy heart.​​TL:DR My Gf (38F) of 4 months is having a hard time putting me at a certain place in her life. She seems to be overwhelmed with the amount of things she has to do such as moving, work, renovations, relationship. Instead of a balanced life approach, she chooses to phase me out of her life for the time being, as she refuses to accept my help on anything she has to do. At this point, I feel like it's over. Am I being too dramatic or has this relationship been over for awhile?