My ex bf (22m) was a jerk but I still find myself missing his companionship and wishing I (22f) wasn’t single

we dated for 2 years. He was honestly an asshole, was way too dependent on alcohol to have fun, was aggressive, loud, obnoxious, selfish, and had the biggest ego I’ve ever seen but somehow was still so insecure and emotionally unstable. I had problems with how he never seemed to make me a priority as much as I made him one. He never expressed interest in the things I loved, despite me always going to sporting games with him, watching his favorite shows, letting him pick our plans the most of the time etc.

We broke up recently and I know logically I’m better off and I deserve someone better. But the relationship wasn’t 2 years of straight misery. We did have a lot of fun together at times. He could be caring and sweet and make me feel loved. So I still find myself missing his companionship and wishing I weren’t single. How do I cope with this? Why do I miss with someone who didn’t treat me well?

Sometimes I’ll get really angry over all the fucked up shit he did and I’ll feel independent and strong. And then in what feels like an hour later, I’ll start feeling lonely and it’s like my brain resurfaces all the good parts of our relationship that make me miss him.

Tldr - ex bf was a jerk and didn’t treat me well but I still find myself missing his companionship. What do I do?

Submitted April 27, 2019 at 05:04AM

we dated for 2 years. He was honestly an asshole, was way too dependent on alcohol to have fun, was aggressive, loud, obnoxious, selfish, and had the biggest ego I’ve ever seen but somehow was still so insecure and emotionally unstable. I had problems with how he never seemed to make me a priority as much as I made him one. He never expressed interest in the things I loved, despite me always going to sporting games with him, watching his favorite shows, letting him pick our plans the most of the time etc.We broke up recently and I know logically I’m better off and I deserve someone better. But the relationship wasn’t 2 years of straight misery. We did have a lot of fun together at times. He could be caring and sweet and make me feel loved. So I still find myself missing his companionship and wishing I weren’t single. How do I cope with this? Why do I miss with someone who didn’t treat me well?Sometimes I’ll get really angry over all the fucked up shit he did and I’ll feel independent and strong. And then in what feels like an hour later, I’ll start feeling lonely and it’s like my brain resurfaces all the good parts of our relationship that make me miss him.Tldr - ex bf was a jerk and didn’t treat me well but I still find myself missing his companionship. What do I do?