I (20m) just found out a really good friend (20f) has been telling people bad things about me behind my back

For back story I used to best friends with this girl (never anything romantic) in high school. When college started we started to drift apart but our relationship would be like really strong for a while then we wouldn’t hear from each other for a few weeks then back to good friends it was really up and down and odd. 2 months ago I drunkenly told her that I was worried that I was being a bad friend and that it sometimes gets weird between us and she said that we were good and it was never weird and it’s all in my head. Ever Since that happened we’ve barely spoken. We hung out a few times in groups but even then we barely speak directly to each other. I just found out that she’s been bad mouthing me to some mutual friends and it honestly really hurt just because we were really close so it felt like a betrayal. I suck at confronting people and I really wanted us to just be back like we used to be a few years ago in HS. Should I even bother trying to fix this or should I just cut her off for good? Also is it wise to confront her about this because as far as she knows I don’t know she said those things about me?

Tl;dr: we used to be really good friends then drifted apart and found out friend has been bad mouthing me.



Submitted April 27, 2019 at 05:19AM

For back story I used to best friends with this girl (never anything romantic) in high school. When college started we started to drift apart but our relationship would be like really strong for a while then we wouldn’t hear from each other for a few weeks then back to good friends it was really up and down and odd. 2 months ago I drunkenly told her that I was worried that I was being a bad friend and that it sometimes gets weird between us and she said that we were good and it was never weird and it’s all in my head. Ever Since that happened we’ve barely spoken. We hung out a few times in groups but even then we barely speak directly to each other. I just found out that she’s been bad mouthing me to some mutual friends and it honestly really hurt just because we were really close so it felt like a betrayal. I suck at confronting people and I really wanted us to just be back like we used to be a few years ago in HS. Should I even bother trying to fix this or should I just cut her off for good? Also is it wise to confront her about this because as far as she knows I don’t know she said those things about me?Tl;dr: we used to be really good friends then drifted apart and found out friend has been bad mouthing me.
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