How much "infested" actually is the dating market over 30 with emotionally unavailable people?

All the stories on here about unfulfilling dating experiences, short relationships that began promising and ended strangely, serial cheaters etc. are proof that there are tons of emotionally unavailable people in the market.

Just some background info, what exactly is an emotionally unavailable person? Probably the same as people with avoidant attachment as described in the book Attached, basically people who are unable to fully commit themselves to someone in a relationship, they will never be able to show true vulnerability and establish an authentic connection, however, as they need emotional intimacy anyway, they employ all sorts of distancing strategy to get both, some intimacy but also their freedom which they value more than their relationships. They often cheat, often flirt with others, or at least simply never open up to their loved one etc. We all know them when we meet them. One will never be able to get true love from them unless they change in a big way, which isn't very likely.

Anyway, these people collect their jar of hearts through life and mostly never change, so they are on the dating market again and again.

I am sometimes wondering are there any securely attached people left? I am anxious by the way. There seem to be a lot of anxious people in the market as well. But I rarely date them.

I don't know, what do you guys think?

Submitted April 26, 2019 at 08:42PM

All the stories on here about unfulfilling dating experiences, short relationships that began promising and ended strangely, serial cheaters etc. are proof that there are tons of emotionally unavailable people in the market.Just some background info, what exactly is an emotionally unavailable person? Probably the same as people with avoidant attachment as described in the book Attached, basically people who are unable to fully commit themselves to someone in a relationship, they will never be able to show true vulnerability and establish an authentic connection, however, as they need emotional intimacy anyway, they employ all sorts of distancing strategy to get both, some intimacy but also their freedom which they value more than their relationships. They often cheat, often flirt with others, or at least simply never open up to their loved one etc. We all know them when we meet them. One will never be able to get true love from them unless they change in a big way, which isn't very likely.Anyway, these people collect their jar of hearts through life and mostly never change, so they are on the dating market again and again.I am sometimes wondering are there any securely attached people left? I am anxious by the way. There seem to be a lot of anxious people in the market as well. But I rarely date them.I don't know, what do you guys think?