My boyfriend (24M) of 5 months and I (21F) are having bedroom problems.

I'm going to try to keep this short and sweet. Also on mobile so I apologize in advance for any formatting/grammatical errors.

My boyfriend has started a labor intensive job and it tends to make him understandably tired, so sex during the weekdays has been non existent and we tend to do it on the weekends when he's fully rested. Usually we have no problems and everything is great, but around 2 weekends ago things got a little weird. We were fooling around, he got off but I didn't. No biggie, he said he would focus on me later in the night. But as bedtime rolled around he made no move to show me some love, and I got a little upset. I sat him down and told him it kinda hurt my feelings a little. I told him I understand he gets tired during the weekdays and I don't expect tons of sex from him, but the weekends are the only time we have any sexual fun. I felt like he just wanted to get off but didnt care if I did or not. He said he understood and would work on it, and we moved on.

Last weekend we tried again and we did much better this time around, but his man bits stopped working midway. I don't have a problem with that either, shit happens. Sometimes my lady parts don't do what I want them to, so I understood. But what kinda confused me was he completely stopped focusing on my body once his stopped working. Maybe he was so discouraged he couldn't continue? Maybe he thought I got off? I'm not sure, but I just kept quiet about it this time.

Now the reason I'm posting. A few hours ago my phone was acting funny and I needed to look something up, so I grabbed his phone and opened his browser. Porn. Porn popped up. I'm not the type who is antiporn. I think masturbation is a very healthy thing to an extent. But my feelings got hurt because not only has he been neglecting my needs during sex, he was looking up porn on a weekday. A day when he tells me hes just sooo tired. I get it's less physically straining, but just ask me to get on top if that's the case? I have no problem grabbing the reins if he's fatigued from work.

I've severe self esteem problems I've been working on for a very long time, but this has caused the small voice in my head to go ape shit. I wonder of he is losing attraction towards me and that's possibly why things have gotten so different. I'm not sure how to go about discussing this with him without seeming insane.

TL;DR- Boyfriend and I have sexual problems recently. Found porn on his phone. Self esteem problems screaming at me.

Submitted April 27, 2019 at 06:46AM

I'm going to try to keep this short and sweet. Also on mobile so I apologize in advance for any formatting/grammatical errors.My boyfriend has started a labor intensive job and it tends to make him understandably tired, so sex during the weekdays has been non existent and we tend to do it on the weekends when he's fully rested. Usually we have no problems and everything is great, but around 2 weekends ago things got a little weird. We were fooling around, he got off but I didn't. No biggie, he said he would focus on me later in the night. But as bedtime rolled around he made no move to show me some love, and I got a little upset. I sat him down and told him it kinda hurt my feelings a little. I told him I understand he gets tired during the weekdays and I don't expect tons of sex from him, but the weekends are the only time we have any sexual fun. I felt like he just wanted to get off but didnt care if I did or not. He said he understood and would work on it, and we moved on.Last weekend we tried again and we did much better this time around, but his man bits stopped working midway. I don't have a problem with that either, shit happens. Sometimes my lady parts don't do what I want them to, so I understood. But what kinda confused me was he completely stopped focusing on my body once his stopped working. Maybe he was so discouraged he couldn't continue? Maybe he thought I got off? I'm not sure, but I just kept quiet about it this time.Now the reason I'm posting. A few hours ago my phone was acting funny and I needed to look something up, so I grabbed his phone and opened his browser. Porn. Porn popped up. I'm not the type who is antiporn. I think masturbation is a very healthy thing to an extent. But my feelings got hurt because not only has he been neglecting my needs during sex, he was looking up porn on a weekday. A day when he tells me hes just sooo tired. I get it's less physically straining, but just ask me to get on top if that's the case? I have no problem grabbing the reins if he's fatigued from work.I've severe self esteem problems I've been working on for a very long time, but this has caused the small voice in my head to go ape shit. I wonder of he is losing attraction towards me and that's possibly why things have gotten so different. I'm not sure how to go about discussing this with him without seeming insane.TL;DR- Boyfriend and I have sexual problems recently. Found porn on his phone. Self esteem problems screaming at me.