I (23M) think I might not be as emotionally invested in my gf (22F) as I should be?

My girlfriend and I have been with each other for just around four months now. We're both fresh out of college and she currently lives with her parents, while I live with some friends from college. Early on in the relationship she told me about her somewhat conservative parents. They have almost consistently been a hurdle to our relationship, and she keeps telling me that there is "nothing she can do" about it while she is still financially dependent upon them. The first time they found out she had even come over to my house she was 'banned from seeing me' for about a week, after which I had to meet both her parents and have a 'talk' about how she isn't allowed to be in private places with me, only public. As ridiculous as I think this is, I accepted, she was my first real relationship and I wanted to see where it would go. As a result the majority of our interactions pretty much exist through skype, however we do see each other about once a week, and recently she has become more open to coming to my place and just making up some lie to her parents.

I feel as though this shouldn't have to be the case, we're both adults, and shouldn't have to lie about what we're doing. I suspect it might have to do with her parents being very old fashioned, and possibly not wanting their daughter dating outside her race. But I won't get into that since I don't have enough hard evidence to support that theory.

She told me she loved me a month into dating. It took me completely by surprise, but ever since I've felt this pressure to say it back, and I caved, and said it though I didn't mean it. Since then I really don't know what to do, when we're together everything seems to be great, but she literally has a "curfew" by which to be home, and we have to come up with some story for what we did. I still wish we could do something as simple as like, chill and sleep over at each others places, but I feel as though that will not happen in the forseeable future. Now I feel as though we're on two different levels of attachment, coupled with the fact that I feel as though her parents will always have this grip on her.

To top this all off I recently started talking to another girl in my area, who is also just out of college and lives on her own (parents on the other side of the country) we got pizza a couple weeks ago, and have been texting on and off, but I've kept them both in the dark about the other. I know I seem like an asshole, and I feel like one doing this. Though I don't fully know if I even want to pursue anything romantically with the other girl. I however feel as though the very fact that I am engaging with her, and not completely closed off to the idea speaks to the fact that maybe I don't have the level of emotional commitment/investment in my relationship, as I imagine a healthy relationship should? If I had to sum it all up in a question I suppose it's just, should I break up with her?

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TL;DR GF has very involved parents, she isn't allowed at my house, comes anyway but has a curfew she has to get home by. Only talk through facetime. Went on a pizza date with another girl. Don't feel as attached to my gf, should I call it on my current relationship?

Submitted April 27, 2019 at 06:08AM

My girlfriend and I have been with each other for just around four months now. We're both fresh out of college and she currently lives with her parents, while I live with some friends from college. Early on in the relationship she told me about her somewhat conservative parents. They have almost consistently been a hurdle to our relationship, and she keeps telling me that there is "nothing she can do" about it while she is still financially dependent upon them. The first time they found out she had even come over to my house she was 'banned from seeing me' for about a week, after which I had to meet both her parents and have a 'talk' about how she isn't allowed to be in private places with me, only public. As ridiculous as I think this is, I accepted, she was my first real relationship and I wanted to see where it would go. As a result the majority of our interactions pretty much exist through skype, however we do see each other about once a week, and recently she has become more open to coming to my place and just making up some lie to her parents.I feel as though this shouldn't have to be the case, we're both adults, and shouldn't have to lie about what we're doing. I suspect it might have to do with her parents being very old fashioned, and possibly not wanting their daughter dating outside her race. But I won't get into that since I don't have enough hard evidence to support that theory.She told me she loved me a month into dating. It took me completely by surprise, but ever since I've felt this pressure to say it back, and I caved, and said it though I didn't mean it. Since then I really don't know what to do, when we're together everything seems to be great, but she literally has a "curfew" by which to be home, and we have to come up with some story for what we did. I still wish we could do something as simple as like, chill and sleep over at each others places, but I feel as though that will not happen in the forseeable future. Now I feel as though we're on two different levels of attachment, coupled with the fact that I feel as though her parents will always have this grip on her.To top this all off I recently started talking to another girl in my area, who is also just out of college and lives on her own (parents on the other side of the country) we got pizza a couple weeks ago, and have been texting on and off, but I've kept them both in the dark about the other. I know I seem like an asshole, and I feel like one doing this. Though I don't fully know if I even want to pursue anything romantically with the other girl. I however feel as though the very fact that I am engaging with her, and not completely closed off to the idea speaks to the fact that maybe I don't have the level of emotional commitment/investment in my relationship, as I imagine a healthy relationship should? If I had to sum it all up in a question I suppose it's just, should I break up with her?​TL;DR GF has very involved parents, she isn't allowed at my house, comes anyway but has a curfew she has to get home by. Only talk through facetime. Went on a pizza date with another girl. Don't feel as attached to my gf, should I call it on my current relationship?