I (F21) have faked orgasms with my BF (21M) for the entirety of our 2 year relationship. Do I tell him?

So my BF Joe (not his real name) and I have been dating for two years now. He's awesome, we have a blast together, and once I'm done college we'll probably move in together. But there's a big glaring problem that has been ongoing the entirety of our relationship: I've been faking every single orgasm with him. A bit of backstory to explain my worries:

When we first started dating when I was 19, I had never had an orgasm, period. I would get horny and would try to masturbate in vain with my hand or a faucet but nothing ever seemed to work.

A few months ago a late-night ad on TV popped up for a Christmas special on sex toys from an online adult store. I went online, found the best-reviewed sex toy for women I could find, and decided if this didn't get me off then nothing would. My first foray into sex toys was extremely successful, and I've been using it on myself weekly since then. I've tried since then to replicate it with just my hand but I'm still in successful.

This first time I faked an orgasm with Joe, I kind of felt like he was waiting for me to orgasm before he let himself, and I felt alot of pressure to perform while knowing I couldn't actually do that. After that it seemed like a natural thing and I was happy to fake it and see how proud of himself he was when that happened. So now I have a bit of a conundrum: before, it was all about preserving Joe's manhood. But now that there's the possibility of me actually getting there, do I break it to him? I feel like that would permanently shift the relationship and he would never trust me again. On the other hand, we've moved up to having these long sex sessions where I will fake-orgasm two, three times. I'm getting a little tired of acting.

It's also important to note that when I got the sex toy, I used it with Joe to show him how it worked. I wasn't able to orgasm with it and him inside me though. We used it a grand total of one more time together after that. Joe is completely disinterested in using a sex toy in the bedroom, as he feels like it's in some sort of competition with him.

TL;dr: I've faked my orgasms with my BF for 2 years and only just recently can even orgasm by myself.



Submitted April 20, 2019 at 06:57AM

So my BF Joe (not his real name) and I have been dating for two years now. He's awesome, we have a blast together, and once I'm done college we'll probably move in together. But there's a big glaring problem that has been ongoing the entirety of our relationship: I've been faking every single orgasm with him. A bit of backstory to explain my worries:When we first started dating when I was 19, I had never had an orgasm, period. I would get horny and would try to masturbate in vain with my hand or a faucet but nothing ever seemed to work.A few months ago a late-night ad on TV popped up for a Christmas special on sex toys from an online adult store. I went online, found the best-reviewed sex toy for women I could find, and decided if this didn't get me off then nothing would. My first foray into sex toys was extremely successful, and I've been using it on myself weekly since then. I've tried since then to replicate it with just my hand but I'm still in successful.This first time I faked an orgasm with Joe, I kind of felt like he was waiting for me to orgasm before he let himself, and I felt alot of pressure to perform while knowing I couldn't actually do that. After that it seemed like a natural thing and I was happy to fake it and see how proud of himself he was when that happened. So now I have a bit of a conundrum: before, it was all about preserving Joe's manhood. But now that there's the possibility of me actually getting there, do I break it to him? I feel like that would permanently shift the relationship and he would never trust me again. On the other hand, we've moved up to having these long sex sessions where I will fake-orgasm two, three times. I'm getting a little tired of acting.It's also important to note that when I got the sex toy, I used it with Joe to show him how it worked. I wasn't able to orgasm with it and him inside me though. We used it a grand total of one more time together after that. Joe is completely disinterested in using a sex toy in the bedroom, as he feels like it's in some sort of competition with him.TL;dr: I've faked my orgasms with my BF for 2 years and only just recently can even orgasm by myself.
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