3 months in and I find out he’s married.

So, I met someone on a dating app around the beginning of the year. We clicked immediately and became official super quickly, within a few weeks. This is not the norm for me, but everything just seemed perfect. For the most part things have gone really well. Today I was at work and my friend told me about how she looks up all the guys she meets online on this online state data base to make sure they don’t have a criminal background. I started playing around with the site, looking up myself, and random people in my life. Most came up with speeding tickets or other silly small things. I decided to do my boyfriend. The top thing that comes up for him is a divorce. Which he just filed for in December. And it’s not finalized. I was shocked. He has not said a word about this to me. He has only called his ex “the person I was with before”. We even once were watching a show where the girl found out her boyfriend had been engaged before and didn’t tell her, and I mentioned how shitty that was and he agreed. Like are you kidding me!? This is just crazy to me. The fact that he was married doesn’t bother me. It’s the fact that he never once thought to tell me, especially when he’s still technically married!!! Now I’m wondering what else he has lied to me about or has left out. And I’m also wondering WHY he didn’t tell me. Is he not over her? I’m honestly considering breaking up with him over this. Am I over reacting? Had he told me from the beginning this would be a whole different situation. I’m just at a loss here. I’m still weighing my options and haven’t mentioned it to him yet.



Submitted April 19, 2019 at 09:59PM

So, I met someone on a dating app around the beginning of the year. We clicked immediately and became official super quickly, within a few weeks. This is not the norm for me, but everything just seemed perfect. For the most part things have gone really well. Today I was at work and my friend told me about how she looks up all the guys she meets online on this online state data base to make sure they don’t have a criminal background. I started playing around with the site, looking up myself, and random people in my life. Most came up with speeding tickets or other silly small things. I decided to do my boyfriend. The top thing that comes up for him is a divorce. Which he just filed for in December. And it’s not finalized. I was shocked. He has not said a word about this to me. He has only called his ex “the person I was with before”. We even once were watching a show where the girl found out her boyfriend had been engaged before and didn’t tell her, and I mentioned how shitty that was and he agreed. Like are you kidding me!? This is just crazy to me. The fact that he was married doesn’t bother me. It’s the fact that he never once thought to tell me, especially when he’s still technically married!!! Now I’m wondering what else he has lied to me about or has left out. And I’m also wondering WHY he didn’t tell me. Is he not over her? I’m honestly considering breaking up with him over this. Am I over reacting? Had he told me from the beginning this would be a whole different situation. I’m just at a loss here. I’m still weighing my options and haven’t mentioned it to him yet.
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