Group Project from Hell (20s F-30s F). Hostile Team Member? Project Duration April-June

Posting on mobile. Please let me know if there is a better subreddit to post this on. Just want help/advice.

I’m in my senior of college. I’m 22F. I graduate this spring with a Bachelors in Business Admin with a major in Finance and minor in Economics. I don’t have a job currently as I’m starting my Masters Program soon and applying to become a Grad Assistant. I’m in my Capstone class- for those who don’t know, it’s basically the final class in the business program that summarizes all of the business classes I’ve taken so far. Essentially my team is running a business and graded on how well we do against other teams.

Group member A, 30F, who is also a friend of mine for the last year or so has been giving me a hard time. A struggles in her accounting classes and often fails most of her exams. I’ve offered to help her study for tests and even complete homework’s. She works as a caregiver outside of school. A has a GPA of maybe 2.8-3.0 cumulative.

Here’s where it gets tricky; Group member B, 22F, tells me in our weekly meeting that her boyfriend would hire me at an accounting firm. I tell her I didn’t plan to take my CPA exam, but would for fun if they were interested in hiring me. I’m a good test taker, and planned on getting a few certifications post graduation. (CFA, CFP).

Tonight A texts me about failing another test. I try to motivate her and uplift her the best I can. It ended up turning into a tirade of her telling me it’s “unfair” that I do well. She complains that she’s too old (early 30s) to accomplish anything and worries about graduating. I try to reassure her the best I can. I tell her that she just has to get through this, that the workplace is different from the classroom. Just trying to keep her positive.

Here are some texts from A I copied for reference:

“It's easy to be positive when you have EVERYTHING going for you.. I have literally nothing.”

“But you're smart, you know how fucking stupid I feel in our group being the old lady who doesn't know or understand anything?! And you saying you may take the CPA for fun was like a dagger to me because I will work my ass off and probably never ever pass it, I can't even afford to take it. You all have jobs that are actually in the field you want and I'm just a loser who takes care of old people.”

When the group project started, my team nominated me as the team leader and rely on me to get the majority of the work done, which is fine with me. Last week, A was upset with me because she “didn’t know how to do anything” with regard to the capstone simulation and felt as if I brush her off. I assumed since they wanted me to lead and admit to not knowing how to do it, it wouldn’t be a problem. Please note that I hold group meetings weekly and I have all of my group members watch me complete the simulation while I explain to them why I’m doing what I’m doing. I also ask all of them for their input- this is important because our final is individual and I want them to understand how to do everything correctly.

So my main question is, how do I deal with this situation? It’s becoming hostile and I stopped replying to her texts once I received the ones from above. I’m trying to keep the peace while remaining respectful, and my feelings are extremely hurt.

I feel like she is projecting her feelings onto me. She is negative the majority of the time. School isn’t a strong spot for her but I always try to be a good friend and give her positive words of affirmation. It really sucks to have a friend/team member say those things to me- I struggle in silence with my mental health, no one knows about that. I also dedicate a lot of time to studying, so it makes me look like it comes easy but no one knows how long it took me to finally understand the material. I take a lot of hits from “friends” about not having a job yet but the truth is I struggled with maintaining a job and keeping up with school, my mental health deteriorates quickly. This is why I am the leader, because I’m the only one not employed currently.

TL;DR! Group member becoming hostile, mad at me after I try to uplift her after failing an exam. Picks fights as of late and finds something wrong with what I do or say.

Submitted April 20, 2019 at 05:31AM

Posting on mobile. Please let me know if there is a better subreddit to post this on. Just want help/advice.I’m in my senior of college. I’m 22F. I graduate this spring with a Bachelors in Business Admin with a major in Finance and minor in Economics. I don’t have a job currently as I’m starting my Masters Program soon and applying to become a Grad Assistant. I’m in my Capstone class- for those who don’t know, it’s basically the final class in the business program that summarizes all of the business classes I’ve taken so far. Essentially my team is running a business and graded on how well we do against other teams.Group member A, 30F, who is also a friend of mine for the last year or so has been giving me a hard time. A struggles in her accounting classes and often fails most of her exams. I’ve offered to help her study for tests and even complete homework’s. She works as a caregiver outside of school. A has a GPA of maybe 2.8-3.0 cumulative.Here’s where it gets tricky; Group member B, 22F, tells me in our weekly meeting that her boyfriend would hire me at an accounting firm. I tell her I didn’t plan to take my CPA exam, but would for fun if they were interested in hiring me. I’m a good test taker, and planned on getting a few certifications post graduation. (CFA, CFP).Tonight A texts me about failing another test. I try to motivate her and uplift her the best I can. It ended up turning into a tirade of her telling me it’s “unfair” that I do well. She complains that she’s too old (early 30s) to accomplish anything and worries about graduating. I try to reassure her the best I can. I tell her that she just has to get through this, that the workplace is different from the classroom. Just trying to keep her positive.Here are some texts from A I copied for reference:“It's easy to be positive when you have EVERYTHING going for you.. I have literally nothing.”“But you're smart, you know how fucking stupid I feel in our group being the old lady who doesn't know or understand anything?! And you saying you may take the CPA for fun was like a dagger to me because I will work my ass off and probably never ever pass it, I can't even afford to take it. You all have jobs that are actually in the field you want and I'm just a loser who takes care of old people.”When the group project started, my team nominated me as the team leader and rely on me to get the majority of the work done, which is fine with me. Last week, A was upset with me because she “didn’t know how to do anything” with regard to the capstone simulation and felt as if I brush her off. I assumed since they wanted me to lead and admit to not knowing how to do it, it wouldn’t be a problem. Please note that I hold group meetings weekly and I have all of my group members watch me complete the simulation while I explain to them why I’m doing what I’m doing. I also ask all of them for their input- this is important because our final is individual and I want them to understand how to do everything correctly.So my main question is, how do I deal with this situation? It’s becoming hostile and I stopped replying to her texts once I received the ones from above. I’m trying to keep the peace while remaining respectful, and my feelings are extremely hurt.I feel like she is projecting her feelings onto me. She is negative the majority of the time. School isn’t a strong spot for her but I always try to be a good friend and give her positive words of affirmation. It really sucks to have a friend/team member say those things to me- I struggle in silence with my mental health, no one knows about that. I also dedicate a lot of time to studying, so it makes me look like it comes easy but no one knows how long it took me to finally understand the material. I take a lot of hits from “friends” about not having a job yet but the truth is I struggled with maintaining a job and keeping up with school, my mental health deteriorates quickly. This is why I am the leader, because I’m the only one not employed currently.TL;DR! Group member becoming hostile, mad at me after I try to uplift her after failing an exam. Picks fights as of late and finds something wrong with what I do or say.