How do you love some eggs with a few cracks?(23M)

So my mom caught a cold (she's OK now). She's 51. And it went pretty bad.

I'm just shocked that a person could collapse all of a sudden, as if she took a 180° turn. She have supported me in a long time. And when she got ill, I just couldn't handle it. It's like a spell broken. From that moment, I realized that I don't TRULY love her. I only love her image of a "mother", my very own definition of "mother". It's just like that Greek myth or Kon Satoshi's Perfect Blue all over again.

It made me think that that's exactly why I hate lies so much. It's not only because those empty promise people say to me. I see people as if they won't change a bit. I know it's idealism and it's very wrong.

I'm INFP-T and 4w5-sp/sx but I want to be something more...

TL;DR? If people don't live up to the impression they gave me, I just got so angry, and I want to change that.



Submitted April 20, 2019 at 05:37AM

So my mom caught a cold (she's OK now). She's 51. And it went pretty bad.I'm just shocked that a person could collapse all of a sudden, as if she took a 180° turn. She have supported me in a long time. And when she got ill, I just couldn't handle it. It's like a spell broken. From that moment, I realized that I don't TRULY love her. I only love her image of a "mother", my very own definition of "mother". It's just like that Greek myth or Kon Satoshi's Perfect Blue all over again.It made me think that that's exactly why I hate lies so much. It's not only because those empty promise people say to me. I see people as if they won't change a bit. I know it's idealism and it's very wrong.I'm INFP-T and 4w5-sp/sx but I want to be something more...TL;DR? If people don't live up to the impression they gave me, I just got so angry, and I want to change that.
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