Three dudes.

I am in a place where I never thought I’d find myself. Ever. It feels a little like being in the Twilight Zone. I feel like I should probably be freaking out a bit, but yet I am not. I will try to be brief, but this goes back a few months.

Dude #1

We dated a few months ago. The chemistry was 100% for both of us, our personalities clicked and we were crazy about each other. But for his insanely busy life, we were very compatible and we'd probably still be together. However, his schedule really didn’t allow him to have a true dating relationship. We both wanted one with each other but we (he) couldn’t make it work and it ended. There were no bad feelings but we were both very sad that it couldn’t work out. We have chatted on and off as friends and I actually ended up going out with his best friend about a week ago.

Dude #2

We met after things ended with D1. In my close circle of friends, this dude is known as “the guy.” This is the guy I always wished and hoped I would find. We met and it was electric. We lit in a fire in each other’s soul and nothing has ever felt so right. I almost have no words to describe it. But, it lasted only a few weeks. He was in the middle of his divorce and when things started getting messy, he had to focus on his kids and on getting things right in his head. He called me on a Friday morning, sobbing, saying that he had to do the right thing and not be reckless. He said he needed to get his priorities in the right order and that he was not ready for me, even though he wanted to be. He said he needed to resolve some things on his end and that he didn’t want to let me go, but that he had to. He said that he couldn’t risk hurting me or making a huge mess out of his life or mine. He said that he wanted to enter a relationship with me when he is at 100% and nothing less because he cared so much about me. He said I was incredible, amazing and everything he ever wanted. He wouldn’t say goodbye and said that he hoped that someday would come for us. It was real and raw. And, the level of integrity, courage and respect was unlike anything I have ever experienced in my life. He changed everything. And, he is “the guy.”

Dude #3

We met about a month ago. Lots of really good chemistry for both of us but, for me, not as intense as D1 and D2. I have not been out with anyone else since we met, by my choice. I met his adult daughter and ex last weekend. I have also met his friends/coworkers. We have a lot in common, we seem to be very compatible so far, and we got through a minor miscommunication very well. So far, things probably couldn’t be going much better. I think I have been a little guarded because of D1 and D2 but not too much and we actually had a conversation about it. He’s super cute, has a great sense of humor, has a great job and we are both looking for the same thing… our person to do life with. We are on the same page, in that we both want to spend our weekends together but yet we both like some independence during the week. It’s really good. And, I should mention that we have not had any kind of DTR discussions.

But. D1 and D2 both came back.

Last week, I got a text from D1 asking me to meet him and his best friend (the one I went out with) for a drink. I ended up going and we had a blast. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard. My face hurt by the time we left. But, as soon as I got there and when I saw D1, it was obvious that there were still some feelings there for both of us. He invited me to go back to his place and I, of course, declined. And, for the record, I told D3 about the text invite before I went. I was honest and explained everything, and made sure he was perfectly okay with me going, and he was cool with it. But, since then, D1 has been texting me and he is obviously very interested. Not really sure how I feel about it.

About a week and a half ago, I got a text from D2 just saying hello and to ask how I am doing. Well, it was more than that. He has texted me every day since. Last Friday, he asked if I would meet up with him this Friday (in two days) to go for a walk so we could talk. He said that he has a LOT to talk about and has a lot on his mind. He said he didn’t know what direction our conversation will take, but he wouldn't ask me to meet him if he felt it was going to go the same way as our last conversation. I agreed and we are going to meet. Last night, he told me that he got the resolve and clarity he needed and that there are things he needs and wants to say, and that I will like what he has to say. He also said there are still just a couple things he needs to tie up on his end. I looked online this morning and saw that the day before he asked me to go on the walk, the court set a final hearing date for his divorce.

Looking back, he did everything right and there is nothing he could have done better. Even though he didn’t want to, he let me go to do the right thing for everyone and to keep people from being hurt. He had to do it. He owned it all. He apologized for being reckless. He did it all the right way. He said he didn’t want to risk letting me go and that he was afraid that he would regret it but that when he got to the right place, that he would be back. And, he was true to his word and he is back. I don’t know what he wants and needs to say on Friday, but I will soon enough.

From a dating perspective, I have never been in a place like this. I don’t know how to feel about it. Part of me knows that everything could drastically change at any moment and that all three dudes could be out of my life in the blink of an eye. But, it doesn’t feel like that is likely. Part of me says to just go with everything and see how it works out but that doesn’t feel right either. I am confused, a little anxious and a little overwhelmed with it all.

Thoughts and opinions would be much appreciated. And, I am sure that I left out some details that may be of importance so please ask away.

Submitted May 22, 2019 at 05:57PM

I am in a place where I never thought I’d find myself. Ever. It feels a little like being in the Twilight Zone. I feel like I should probably be freaking out a bit, but yet I am not. I will try to be brief, but this goes back a few months.Dude #1We dated a few months ago. The chemistry was 100% for both of us, our personalities clicked and we were crazy about each other. But for his insanely busy life, we were very compatible and we'd probably still be together. However, his schedule really didn’t allow him to have a true dating relationship. We both wanted one with each other but we (he) couldn’t make it work and it ended. There were no bad feelings but we were both very sad that it couldn’t work out. We have chatted on and off as friends and I actually ended up going out with his best friend about a week ago.Dude #2We met after things ended with D1. In my close circle of friends, this dude is known as “the guy.” This is the guy I always wished and hoped I would find. We met and it was electric. We lit in a fire in each other’s soul and nothing has ever felt so right. I almost have no words to describe it. But, it lasted only a few weeks. He was in the middle of his divorce and when things started getting messy, he had to focus on his kids and on getting things right in his head. He called me on a Friday morning, sobbing, saying that he had to do the right thing and not be reckless. He said he needed to get his priorities in the right order and that he was not ready for me, even though he wanted to be. He said he needed to resolve some things on his end and that he didn’t want to let me go, but that he had to. He said that he couldn’t risk hurting me or making a huge mess out of his life or mine. He said that he wanted to enter a relationship with me when he is at 100% and nothing less because he cared so much about me. He said I was incredible, amazing and everything he ever wanted. He wouldn’t say goodbye and said that he hoped that someday would come for us. It was real and raw. And, the level of integrity, courage and respect was unlike anything I have ever experienced in my life. He changed everything. And, he is “the guy.”Dude #3We met about a month ago. Lots of really good chemistry for both of us but, for me, not as intense as D1 and D2. I have not been out with anyone else since we met, by my choice. I met his adult daughter and ex last weekend. I have also met his friends/coworkers. We have a lot in common, we seem to be very compatible so far, and we got through a minor miscommunication very well. So far, things probably couldn’t be going much better. I think I have been a little guarded because of D1 and D2 but not too much and we actually had a conversation about it. He’s super cute, has a great sense of humor, has a great job and we are both looking for the same thing… our person to do life with. We are on the same page, in that we both want to spend our weekends together but yet we both like some independence during the week. It’s really good. And, I should mention that we have not had any kind of DTR discussions.But. D1 and D2 both came back.Last week, I got a text from D1 asking me to meet him and his best friend (the one I went out with) for a drink. I ended up going and we had a blast. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard. My face hurt by the time we left. But, as soon as I got there and when I saw D1, it was obvious that there were still some feelings there for both of us. He invited me to go back to his place and I, of course, declined. And, for the record, I told D3 about the text invite before I went. I was honest and explained everything, and made sure he was perfectly okay with me going, and he was cool with it. But, since then, D1 has been texting me and he is obviously very interested. Not really sure how I feel about it.About a week and a half ago, I got a text from D2 just saying hello and to ask how I am doing. Well, it was more than that. He has texted me every day since. Last Friday, he asked if I would meet up with him this Friday (in two days) to go for a walk so we could talk. He said that he has a LOT to talk about and has a lot on his mind. He said he didn’t know what direction our conversation will take, but he wouldn't ask me to meet him if he felt it was going to go the same way as our last conversation. I agreed and we are going to meet. Last night, he told me that he got the resolve and clarity he needed and that there are things he needs and wants to say, and that I will like what he has to say. He also said there are still just a couple things he needs to tie up on his end. I looked online this morning and saw that the day before he asked me to go on the walk, the court set a final hearing date for his divorce.Looking back, he did everything right and there is nothing he could have done better. Even though he didn’t want to, he let me go to do the right thing for everyone and to keep people from being hurt. He had to do it. He owned it all. He apologized for being reckless. He did it all the right way. He said he didn’t want to risk letting me go and that he was afraid that he would regret it but that when he got to the right place, that he would be back. And, he was true to his word and he is back. I don’t know what he wants and needs to say on Friday, but I will soon enough.From a dating perspective, I have never been in a place like this. I don’t know how to feel about it. Part of me knows that everything could drastically change at any moment and that all three dudes could be out of my life in the blink of an eye. But, it doesn’t feel like that is likely. Part of me says to just go with everything and see how it works out but that doesn’t feel right either. I am confused, a little anxious and a little overwhelmed with it all.Thoughts and opinions would be much appreciated. And, I am sure that I left out some details that may be of importance so please ask away.