How do you regain mental/emotional attraction to your spouse?

Me (28F) and DH (35M) have been together for the past 7 years and married 3. For at least the past year, I feel like I have been losing attraction to him. He hasn’t changed significantly physically but it is more related to his personality traits such as immaturity, selfishness, and just general unawareness of the world around him (all of these things he would likely attribute to his ADD). These things didn’t used to affect my attraction to him but now I have to force myself to be intimate with him. I don’t know how to address this issue without harming his self esteem. Any ideas on how to work on this on my end? I really don’t want to divorce as we do have a child together but I find myself imagining what life could be like with other people more often.

For the record, we do plan on going to marriage counseling again. Also, he is not medicated for ADD.

TIA!!



Submitted May 23, 2019 at 12:27AM

Me (28F) and DH (35M) have been together for the past 7 years and married 3. For at least the past year, I feel like I have been losing attraction to him. He hasn’t changed significantly physically but it is more related to his personality traits such as immaturity, selfishness, and just general unawareness of the world around him (all of these things he would likely attribute to his ADD). These things didn’t used to affect my attraction to him but now I have to force myself to be intimate with him. I don’t know how to address this issue without harming his self esteem. Any ideas on how to work on this on my end? I really don’t want to divorce as we do have a child together but I find myself imagining what life could be like with other people more often.For the record, we do plan on going to marriage counseling again. Also, he is not medicated for ADD.TIA!!
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