Dating first real guy in 3 years and already a month in he’s moving away... I need help

Long story sorry...

Ok. So I started dating this guy about one and a half months ago and we hit it off and it’s been pretty good. We’ve only been on like 4-5 dates. I’m 31 and he’s 37, share common interests and overall we get along pretty well.

We are both teachers and he got an opportunity to move to another city that’s 5 hours away. It’s closer to his family, so I get why he wants to move. When he first brought it up he wasn’t sure if he was going or not, and I said well let’s just keep goin as is until he knows. Well over a week ago he said he was definitely moving and even started looking at houses. So I figured there goes another possible relationship.

Problem is he didn’t act like it changed anything. So yesterday when we went on a date I expressed that I didn’t want to move things to having sex or anything if he’s just going to be moving away. Well he acted like we were already steady and doesn’t see the big deal. I said I like hanging out with him but I don’t wanna be sexually involved if there’s a time limit, and maybe just be friends or whatever. He wasn’t having it, and it was right before a movie and acted kind of hurt I felt that way. He then pretty much put me in a situation of either we keep goin or we don’t. No middle ground. So we either keep acting like a normal relationship and try to do long distance or just end it Right now. I asked for time.

I’m so confused though. I like him. But I really don’t want to deal with a long distance thing when I really don’t know him that well. Seriously sometimes on dates I want to talk and get to know him and it always turns into just chit chat and bullshit. I don’t really know him all that well.

It’s almost the summer, the time I really can get out there and normally get the most dates since I don’t have work to worry about. Should I really put my time in a relationship that might not work out? Am I really ready to commit right now? Again I haven’t had a decent non-ghosting guy in like 3 years. I mean again, I don’t know the guy it’s kinda crazy to me to commit right now.

I was enjoying having someone to hang out with since all my friends right now are having kids and don’t have much time. So I wished this happened later. I’m lonely AF right now and it was nice to have someone to go on dates with for a little while and asked about my day. But what’s the point if it leads to a long distance thing?

Also I am not willing to move there. My job is very secure, I just bought my own house, and just moved here to reconnect with my family.... so there’s that.

Submitted May 23, 2019 at 12:33AM

Long story sorry...Ok. So I started dating this guy about one and a half months ago and we hit it off and it’s been pretty good. We’ve only been on like 4-5 dates. I’m 31 and he’s 37, share common interests and overall we get along pretty well.We are both teachers and he got an opportunity to move to another city that’s 5 hours away. It’s closer to his family, so I get why he wants to move. When he first brought it up he wasn’t sure if he was going or not, and I said well let’s just keep goin as is until he knows. Well over a week ago he said he was definitely moving and even started looking at houses. So I figured there goes another possible relationship.Problem is he didn’t act like it changed anything. So yesterday when we went on a date I expressed that I didn’t want to move things to having sex or anything if he’s just going to be moving away. Well he acted like we were already steady and doesn’t see the big deal. I said I like hanging out with him but I don’t wanna be sexually involved if there’s a time limit, and maybe just be friends or whatever. He wasn’t having it, and it was right before a movie and acted kind of hurt I felt that way. He then pretty much put me in a situation of either we keep goin or we don’t. No middle ground. So we either keep acting like a normal relationship and try to do long distance or just end it Right now. I asked for time.I’m so confused though. I like him. But I really don’t want to deal with a long distance thing when I really don’t know him that well. Seriously sometimes on dates I want to talk and get to know him and it always turns into just chit chat and bullshit. I don’t really know him all that well.It’s almost the summer, the time I really can get out there and normally get the most dates since I don’t have work to worry about. Should I really put my time in a relationship that might not work out? Am I really ready to commit right now? Again I haven’t had a decent non-ghosting guy in like 3 years. I mean again, I don’t know the guy it’s kinda crazy to me to commit right now.I was enjoying having someone to hang out with since all my friends right now are having kids and don’t have much time. So I wished this happened later. I’m lonely AF right now and it was nice to have someone to go on dates with for a little while and asked about my day. But what’s the point if it leads to a long distance thing?Also I am not willing to move there. My job is very secure, I just bought my own house, and just moved here to reconnect with my family.... so there’s that.