(m35) First date, didn't feel a spark. Advice?

Edit: Thank you everyone for your advice. I think I will try a second date and see if I feel differently knowing what I am going into.
Those that commented that the picture being misleading may have been part of the issue - I think you are correct, that must have been part of it. I did arrived expecting someone physically different than I met, and the right was with me all evening.

To make things clear, I have no intention of letting things advance beyond a kiss if I still felt no spark. I thought I made that clear but I guess not. While I am fine with a hook up she obviously was not looking for one and I would not betray anyones trust by engaging in casual sex with someone who believed it was more. Also, I have no reason to suspect sex would even occur on a second day with her. When I said kiss I did mean only kiss. The question was, purely, is a kiss ok to allow to test chemistry or is it, too, a breaking of trust?

For those commenting that I am dating too soon, that may very well be true, however my last relationship was pretty fucked up and I was recommended by my therapist to get out there and not isolate myself, as long as things remain non committed at this point.

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O0

I'm brand new to dating. Even as a kid I never really dated. I'm recently separated (3 months) and just went in my 2nd first date.

We met OLD app. Her picture was a little misleading but she's perfectly nice and friendly and, like me, had a bad break up from a ltr, although a couple years ago now. We texted a lot and met up for coffee, then dinner.

But, unlike my first 1st date, I didn't feel any attraction. No spark. No chemistry.

I think the date went well on her end and she texted me a bit more and I responded normally. I'm thinking I'll try a 2nd date with her, because she is nice and lived some interesting experiences, just to confirm I don't feel anything. Is that ok or is that leading her on? If I still don't feel anything and she wants something physical should we kiss to see how I feel about that (but no further if I still don't feel anything) or should I stop her before a kiss?

I don't want her (or anyone else) to feel used so I'm not really sure where to draw the line?

Submitted April 12, 2019 at 10:45AM

Edit: Thank you everyone for your advice. I think I will try a second date and see if I feel differently knowing what I am going into.Those that commented that the picture being misleading may have been part of the issue - I think you are correct, that must have been part of it. I did arrived expecting someone physically different than I met, and the right was with me all evening.To make things clear, I have no intention of letting things advance beyond a kiss if I still felt no spark. I thought I made that clear but I guess not. While I am fine with a hook up she obviously was not looking for one and I would not betray anyones trust by engaging in casual sex with someone who believed it was more. Also, I have no reason to suspect sex would even occur on a second day with her. When I said kiss I did mean only kiss. The question was, purely, is a kiss ok to allow to test chemistry or is it, too, a breaking of trust?For those commenting that I am dating too soon, that may very well be true, however my last relationship was pretty fucked up and I was recommended by my therapist to get out there and not isolate myself, as long as things remain non committed at this point._------------------+-;---+++++++;;++--------------------O0I'm brand new to dating. Even as a kid I never really dated. I'm recently separated (3 months) and just went in my 2nd first date.We met OLD app. Her picture was a little misleading but she's perfectly nice and friendly and, like me, had a bad break up from a ltr, although a couple years ago now. We texted a lot and met up for coffee, then dinner.But, unlike my first 1st date, I didn't feel any attraction. No spark. No chemistry.I think the date went well on her end and she texted me a bit more and I responded normally. I'm thinking I'll try a 2nd date with her, because she is nice and lived some interesting experiences, just to confirm I don't feel anything. Is that ok or is that leading her on? If I still don't feel anything and she wants something physical should we kiss to see how I feel about that (but no further if I still don't feel anything) or should I stop her before a kiss?I don't want her (or anyone else) to feel used so I'm not really sure where to draw the line?