Genuinely just can’t orgasm? (Advice and experience please ladies!)

My boyfriend (M22) and I (F20) have been together for a few months and everything is going so well but I’m a bit lost here. Whenever we get intimate, it feels like he’s doing everything right and it’s so good- every time I get right to the edge of an orgasm but I can just never quite release. I’m worried it’s taking a toll on him self esteem-wise, and he’s gotten frustrated with me because I can’t seem to tell him what he’s doing wrong. I really don’t know!

I’ve had issues with sex in the past due to bad experiences and pain, so I’ve not had very many partners, but for sure he’s the best I’ve had so far. I don’t really subscribe to the whole belief that it’s up to the guy to make her orgasm and if he can’t then he must be terrible at sex etc etc. I think it’s toxic, and for me and a couple of my girl friends I’ve spoken to there are so many different things that can affect whether or not they finish. Nonetheless, he gets down on himself about it and it kills me. I don’t know how to explain to him that it’s not him; I don’t know what to do tell him when he asks me what he could be doing better.

I really think it’s not him, but something to do with me? Has anyone had a similar experience? Any advice? Thanks y’all. Xx



Submitted April 13, 2019 at 04:35AM

My boyfriend (M22) and I (F20) have been together for a few months and everything is going so well but I’m a bit lost here. Whenever we get intimate, it feels like he’s doing everything right and it’s so good- every time I get right to the edge of an orgasm but I can just never quite release. I’m worried it’s taking a toll on him self esteem-wise, and he’s gotten frustrated with me because I can’t seem to tell him what he’s doing wrong. I really don’t know!I’ve had issues with sex in the past due to bad experiences and pain, so I’ve not had very many partners, but for sure he’s the best I’ve had so far. I don’t really subscribe to the whole belief that it’s up to the guy to make her orgasm and if he can’t then he must be terrible at sex etc etc. I think it’s toxic, and for me and a couple of my girl friends I’ve spoken to there are so many different things that can affect whether or not they finish. Nonetheless, he gets down on himself about it and it kills me. I don’t know how to explain to him that it’s not him; I don’t know what to do tell him when he asks me what he could be doing better.I really think it’s not him, but something to do with me? Has anyone had a similar experience? Any advice? Thanks y’all. Xx
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