It is What it is

My wife and I are young. 24 and 22 to be exact. We've been together since our late teen years, and to be honest, our connection was held together by sex initially. You know the story, you've read it a million times.

It took us a couple years to realize that we were more than just hookup buddies. But once we realized it, and decided to commit to each other, we fell in love, and it was a passionate, genuine love. We've been married for three years now and have two kids, 2 and 1. She's a full time mom, and I have a full time job, a part time job, and I'm also going to school.

The past few months have not been so good for us. It just seems like the connection is fading, if not gone already. She is either in a great mood or a terrible one. When she gets mad, she gets into a total fit of rage, and says hateful things. "I fucking can't stand you." "I hate you." "I hate this life." "I hate that I'm stuck with you." The list goes on, but to me, once you've said some of those things, there's no going back. She also likes to yell and have fights when her family is around, which, even if subconsciously, pits them against me. It is what it is. She's hinted at a divorce without explicitly saying it. I've told her that the yelling and fighting is getting old, and her response was, "Do something about it."

We don't have financial issues, neither of us have cheated, both of us and the kids are in good health. It's just that the small things turn into big things. If something is on her mind, she will bottle it up until she explodes. I try to bring things up in a calm voice and in a rational manner. If there's a problem, let's talk about it and solve it. Yelling and name calling is immature and only escalates the problem.

I'll admit it, I'm not a good active listener. It's one of my biggest weaknesses and I'm trying to work every day at it. I'm not perfect by any stretch, but I know I deserve to be treated with the same respect and compassion that I give her.

I've brought up couples' counseling and marriage therapy, etc. and she seems pretty much neutral to the subject. The only reason I haven't pushed it farther is because I'm genuinely weary of seeking mental health help due to the nature of my job.

To me, divorce is not an option. I grew up without a dad and I refuse to let my kids do the same. She has an above average sized family and communicates with them every day. I don't have that, I only have her and the kids, and they're everything to me. I just want to be everything to them.

Submitted May 19, 2019 at 03:02AM

My wife and I are young. 24 and 22 to be exact. We've been together since our late teen years, and to be honest, our connection was held together by sex initially. You know the story, you've read it a million times.It took us a couple years to realize that we were more than just hookup buddies. But once we realized it, and decided to commit to each other, we fell in love, and it was a passionate, genuine love. We've been married for three years now and have two kids, 2 and 1. She's a full time mom, and I have a full time job, a part time job, and I'm also going to school.The past few months have not been so good for us. It just seems like the connection is fading, if not gone already. She is either in a great mood or a terrible one. When she gets mad, she gets into a total fit of rage, and says hateful things. "I fucking can't stand you." "I hate you." "I hate this life." "I hate that I'm stuck with you." The list goes on, but to me, once you've said some of those things, there's no going back. She also likes to yell and have fights when her family is around, which, even if subconsciously, pits them against me. It is what it is. She's hinted at a divorce without explicitly saying it. I've told her that the yelling and fighting is getting old, and her response was, "Do something about it."We don't have financial issues, neither of us have cheated, both of us and the kids are in good health. It's just that the small things turn into big things. If something is on her mind, she will bottle it up until she explodes. I try to bring things up in a calm voice and in a rational manner. If there's a problem, let's talk about it and solve it. Yelling and name calling is immature and only escalates the problem.I'll admit it, I'm not a good active listener. It's one of my biggest weaknesses and I'm trying to work every day at it. I'm not perfect by any stretch, but I know I deserve to be treated with the same respect and compassion that I give her.I've brought up couples' counseling and marriage therapy, etc. and she seems pretty much neutral to the subject. The only reason I haven't pushed it farther is because I'm genuinely weary of seeking mental health help due to the nature of my job.To me, divorce is not an option. I grew up without a dad and I refuse to let my kids do the same. She has an above average sized family and communicates with them every day. I don't have that, I only have her and the kids, and they're everything to me. I just want to be everything to them.