I'm worried that my (M28) marriage to my wife (F28) is over.

My wife and I are high-school sweethearts, but we've had ups and downs. Significant ups and downs.

Since we got married 4 years ago, she has had two emotional affairs. Both times I caught her via call logs. She denied denied denied, until eventually she cracked both times. The first guy she never met with, the second guy she saw on a trip, but swears they "only hugged". When we were engaged, I found pregnancy tests in her purse when we hadn't had sex in months. She told me they were for a baby shower.

It has been about 18 months since the I discovered the last emotional affair. At the time I was friendless, unemployed, and a drunk. I mention friendless because she hates my friends. She hates anytime I do anything without her, but if she comes along, she'll 9/10 make me leave with her an hour within getting to a party of event. I lost the majority of my friends because of her. Even my family warned me before I married her.

When we met she was fun, energetic, positive. Now my wife is the most negative person I know. It's exhausting. She has no hobbies, she has one friend that lives across the country, and she now officially works from home. She has become a shut-in. I am her only link to the outside world. I hate it.

At this point, I know I'm unhappy. She's very successful at her job, but outside of work she has no life. I can't talk about laughing with friends and not have her get angry and stop talking. I used to invite her to everything. I stopped trying.

Now, I have a great friend group, and she seems to be becoming more and more resentful of this fact. To be honest, I'd rather be with them. Friday night I stayed out with someone that makes me feel alive instead of being at home in my office while she sits on the couch watching real housewives reruns.

I'm worried that I'm developing feelings for a member of my social circle, and as fucked as I think that is, I wish I felt worse about it. I don't want to do what she did to me and go behind her back for months on end. I want to have a chance at happiness, and I would never cheat.

She's been with me for almost half of my life, and the idea of her not being in my life is terrifying to me, but at the same time my life feels hollow. I was resigned to the fact that I would stay in every weekend for the rest of our lives and just have the two of us. But, a few weeks ago, I walked in on her in the bathroom sitting on a stool texting and watching Netflix on her laptop, wrapped in a towel and texting away. It looks suspicious as fuck, but I didn't feel anything this time. My brain essentially went into "Aw shit, here we go again" mode, but I wasn't hurt. I was just annoyed.

Is this marriage dead?

Submitted May 19, 2019 at 02:33PM

My wife and I are high-school sweethearts, but we've had ups and downs. Significant ups and downs.Since we got married 4 years ago, she has had two emotional affairs. Both times I caught her via call logs. She denied denied denied, until eventually she cracked both times. The first guy she never met with, the second guy she saw on a trip, but swears they "only hugged". When we were engaged, I found pregnancy tests in her purse when we hadn't had sex in months. She told me they were for a baby shower.It has been about 18 months since the I discovered the last emotional affair. At the time I was friendless, unemployed, and a drunk. I mention friendless because she hates my friends. She hates anytime I do anything without her, but if she comes along, she'll 9/10 make me leave with her an hour within getting to a party of event. I lost the majority of my friends because of her. Even my family warned me before I married her.When we met she was fun, energetic, positive. Now my wife is the most negative person I know. It's exhausting. She has no hobbies, she has one friend that lives across the country, and she now officially works from home. She has become a shut-in. I am her only link to the outside world. I hate it.At this point, I know I'm unhappy. She's very successful at her job, but outside of work she has no life. I can't talk about laughing with friends and not have her get angry and stop talking. I used to invite her to everything. I stopped trying.Now, I have a great friend group, and she seems to be becoming more and more resentful of this fact. To be honest, I'd rather be with them. Friday night I stayed out with someone that makes me feel alive instead of being at home in my office while she sits on the couch watching real housewives reruns.I'm worried that I'm developing feelings for a member of my social circle, and as fucked as I think that is, I wish I felt worse about it. I don't want to do what she did to me and go behind her back for months on end. I want to have a chance at happiness, and I would never cheat.She's been with me for almost half of my life, and the idea of her not being in my life is terrifying to me, but at the same time my life feels hollow. I was resigned to the fact that I would stay in every weekend for the rest of our lives and just have the two of us. But, a few weeks ago, I walked in on her in the bathroom sitting on a stool texting and watching Netflix on her laptop, wrapped in a towel and texting away. It looks suspicious as fuck, but I didn't feel anything this time. My brain essentially went into "Aw shit, here we go again" mode, but I wasn't hurt. I was just annoyed.Is this marriage dead?