Going through a Divorce but Still in a Relationship.

My wife (22) and I (29) are going through a divorce. We have a 4 month old son, she has filed court papers declaring her sole custody. (I have already received child support papers due to her being on welfare) We are living separately, and my son comes over to my house 3 times a week and I get him to myself usually. I do support him financially and have yet to receive the child support that was filed as well.

Now for the confusing part, we are still trying to scrape what we have left of our partnership and are attempting to work together on being a couple, we even signed up for family therapy and have yet to go. I have admitted to my shortcomings to my wife and have told her that I do want to change, not only for my Son and her but myself. (I consume marijuana occasionally, at a responsible time, BIG NONO to her) I must admit I have not been a good husband in the past, and have made huge errors that she “forgave me” for, yet always throws wrongdoings in my face and belittles and blames me for everything wrong. At the end of every argument I feel like I will always be an “emotionally Lying, abusive, womanizer that always puts her in last place” and I beat myself up very badly over it. The thoughts consume me and I always will be the one to apologies and attempt to put us on even ground. Which she has a hard time doing.

We have separated in the past a few times, in a variety of ways, ranging from my behavior to her “loving me but not in love with me”. And we always have been brought back together.

I love her with everything, and she claims the same, yet the back and forth being together not being together is really starting to tax on me mentally. Her decision to file for full custody broke me for a weeks, it still does.

We have different morals and outlooks on Divorce Hers being “I don’t want to be legally bound to you, but I love you and want to be with you.” My own morals are that “we married have a child and are continuing a relationship. This feels wrong and evil in some ways” I have asked almost to the point of begging for a compromise (Divorce with joint custody) to no end. I still haven’t gotten a straight answer on what’s next for our relationship, other than when she is mad and she is done.

I don’t know what I’m looking for on here, maybe somebody has the words that will make sense to me regarding my situation.

Submitted May 19, 2019 at 05:35PM

My wife (22) and I (29) are going through a divorce. We have a 4 month old son, she has filed court papers declaring her sole custody. (I have already received child support papers due to her being on welfare) We are living separately, and my son comes over to my house 3 times a week and I get him to myself usually. I do support him financially and have yet to receive the child support that was filed as well.Now for the confusing part, we are still trying to scrape what we have left of our partnership and are attempting to work together on being a couple, we even signed up for family therapy and have yet to go. I have admitted to my shortcomings to my wife and have told her that I do want to change, not only for my Son and her but myself. (I consume marijuana occasionally, at a responsible time, BIG NONO to her) I must admit I have not been a good husband in the past, and have made huge errors that she “forgave me” for, yet always throws wrongdoings in my face and belittles and blames me for everything wrong. At the end of every argument I feel like I will always be an “emotionally Lying, abusive, womanizer that always puts her in last place” and I beat myself up very badly over it. The thoughts consume me and I always will be the one to apologies and attempt to put us on even ground. Which she has a hard time doing.We have separated in the past a few times, in a variety of ways, ranging from my behavior to her “loving me but not in love with me”. And we always have been brought back together.I love her with everything, and she claims the same, yet the back and forth being together not being together is really starting to tax on me mentally. Her decision to file for full custody broke me for a weeks, it still does.We have different morals and outlooks on Divorce Hers being “I don’t want to be legally bound to you, but I love you and want to be with you.” My own morals are that “we married have a child and are continuing a relationship. This feels wrong and evil in some ways” I have asked almost to the point of begging for a compromise (Divorce with joint custody) to no end. I still haven’t gotten a straight answer on what’s next for our relationship, other than when she is mad and she is done.I don’t know what I’m looking for on here, maybe somebody has the words that will make sense to me regarding my situation.