Unhappy in the familiar or chance it

First time posting on Reddit... Long and venting - sorry my head is complicated. husband (34) and I (34/F) have been married for about 10 years. I have been unhappy for years and we are on 2 different pages. He thinks if we are not screaming at each other then we are good, where as I feel I need more positive relations/words/whatever. I don’t feel like we have any emotional communication at all, and he is not in tune with me at all. I am non-confrontational and have some anxiety issues which I am just starting to face - went to a short term counselor and have an appointment set up for something more long term. He has already also agreed to go to couples counseling, because I want to. I just need to get myself going first. Anyway, today I brought up it up again, just pointing out that it will help us improve. He thought we were doing well (reiterating- I have felt otherwise for a long time). He got frustrated when I said otherwise. Then went on about how he has changed so much, and he tries to have conversations to my liking ( not really sure but I think because I didn’t want advice when venting, another time I told him he couldn’t tell me how to feel) . So now I just feel like shit. But really, I guess my options are to be unhappy keeping others comfortable, or to try to be happy and get the uncomfortable shit out of the way.



Submitted May 21, 2019 at 03:37AM

First time posting on Reddit... Long and venting - sorry my head is complicated. husband (34) and I (34/F) have been married for about 10 years. I have been unhappy for years and we are on 2 different pages. He thinks if we are not screaming at each other then we are good, where as I feel I need more positive relations/words/whatever. I don’t feel like we have any emotional communication at all, and he is not in tune with me at all. I am non-confrontational and have some anxiety issues which I am just starting to face - went to a short term counselor and have an appointment set up for something more long term. He has already also agreed to go to couples counseling, because I want to. I just need to get myself going first. Anyway, today I brought up it up again, just pointing out that it will help us improve. He thought we were doing well (reiterating- I have felt otherwise for a long time). He got frustrated when I said otherwise. Then went on about how he has changed so much, and he tries to have conversations to my liking ( not really sure but I think because I didn’t want advice when venting, another time I told him he couldn’t tell me how to feel) . So now I just feel like shit. But really, I guess my options are to be unhappy keeping others comfortable, or to try to be happy and get the uncomfortable shit out of the way.
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