I need help here's my story

My name is jay and I resent myself. I am stupid and dumb. I don't know what to say and I've done idiotic things in middle school. Let me rewind back. 7th grade was my first year of public school. In that grade I was hyperactive and constantly getting in trouble trying to yean for attention. I was running yelling jumping and doing stupid things in the classroom and halls. I acted immuture and stupid. 8th grade I tried doing a little better but I had problem still with the same thing. This is when I started to resent myself and tried to kill myself. I was in and out of hospital for suicidal and depression emotions. I did something stupid which is climb into the ceiling. That followed me all the way to 9th grade 9th grade I was doing alot better but started having issue with teacher and getting mad at them and acting immature. I started to realize this and tried growing but, I cant. I keap being brought back into some stupid stuff because of the roof thing. I did some more stupid things in 9th grade too. I hate myself, I am ugly, my voice is ugly, and my image is ugly. I want to change myself but I don't know how. The reason is because there I really got to meet when we were at the beach on a field trip for a class. She was someone good while I was someone stupid. I wanted to change because I just want to be a good person and not annoying. I'm just fed up and want to die. The main goals I'm trying to get 1. Become confidence 2. Knowing how to walk up and start a convosation 3. not be awkward or stupid 4. How to talk without cursing and applying a actual good vocabulary



Submitted May 21, 2019 at 02:41AM

My name is jay and I resent myself. I am stupid and dumb. I don't know what to say and I've done idiotic things in middle school. Let me rewind back. 7th grade was my first year of public school. In that grade I was hyperactive and constantly getting in trouble trying to yean for attention. I was running yelling jumping and doing stupid things in the classroom and halls. I acted immuture and stupid. 8th grade I tried doing a little better but I had problem still with the same thing. This is when I started to resent myself and tried to kill myself. I was in and out of hospital for suicidal and depression emotions. I did something stupid which is climb into the ceiling. That followed me all the way to 9th grade 9th grade I was doing alot better but started having issue with teacher and getting mad at them and acting immature. I started to realize this and tried growing but, I cant. I keap being brought back into some stupid stuff because of the roof thing. I did some more stupid things in 9th grade too. I hate myself, I am ugly, my voice is ugly, and my image is ugly. I want to change myself but I don't know how. The reason is because there I really got to meet when we were at the beach on a field trip for a class. She was someone good while I was someone stupid. I wanted to change because I just want to be a good person and not annoying. I'm just fed up and want to die. The main goals I'm trying to get 1. Become confidence 2. Knowing how to walk up and start a convosation 3. not be awkward or stupid 4. How to talk without cursing and applying a actual good vocabulary
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