The negativity of “I’ve been single for so long and been on so many dates. I don’t see how it’s gonna be different this time”

I don’t know that many people who’s been single as long as I have been (3 years - sort of). The first year, I wasn’t trying. I was just happy doing me. I started to try in my second year, found a guy I fell for hard but we only dated exclusively for a few months (we were a couple and very serious about each other but because of how short it was, it didn’t feel like a relationship). Another year gone by, I met someone I fell hard for again, but I met him at the wrong time (he just broke off an engagement. He just wanted to travel the world and didn’t want another relationship).

I know the feeling of working towards something and achieving it but a relationship is different. It takes two to tango. I felt that I spent such a long time bettering myself and trying to find myself again, and I’m really ready for a healthy relationship, it just didn’t happen. So now I have this mentality of “what’s gonna be different the next time?” I don’t even think theres anything I could do differently. I’m a healthy person but mentally and physically. I’d say I’m attractive and funny from all the attention I got. I love pleasing my partners in bed and they always come back for more. You can literally have all the right things and still be single af.

I’m not even upset with being single. I’m more upset that I’m most likely going to have to do dating over and over again because I don’t want to give up on finding an amazing guy who will spend the rest of his life with me and who will have a family with me. It’s not sth I’d even consider giving up on.

I have friends who spent 6 or 8 years being single before they found their life partner. Its not really sth that makes me feel better. Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise because I’m not staying in bad relationships. I just really want to be a bit more positive rather than treating this as some sort of zero sum game.

Submitted April 13, 2019 at 07:31PM

I don’t know that many people who’s been single as long as I have been (3 years - sort of). The first year, I wasn’t trying. I was just happy doing me. I started to try in my second year, found a guy I fell for hard but we only dated exclusively for a few months (we were a couple and very serious about each other but because of how short it was, it didn’t feel like a relationship). Another year gone by, I met someone I fell hard for again, but I met him at the wrong time (he just broke off an engagement. He just wanted to travel the world and didn’t want another relationship).I know the feeling of working towards something and achieving it but a relationship is different. It takes two to tango. I felt that I spent such a long time bettering myself and trying to find myself again, and I’m really ready for a healthy relationship, it just didn’t happen. So now I have this mentality of “what’s gonna be different the next time?” I don’t even think theres anything I could do differently. I’m a healthy person but mentally and physically. I’d say I’m attractive and funny from all the attention I got. I love pleasing my partners in bed and they always come back for more. You can literally have all the right things and still be single af.I’m not even upset with being single. I’m more upset that I’m most likely going to have to do dating over and over again because I don’t want to give up on finding an amazing guy who will spend the rest of his life with me and who will have a family with me. It’s not sth I’d even consider giving up on.I have friends who spent 6 or 8 years being single before they found their life partner. Its not really sth that makes me feel better. Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise because I’m not staying in bad relationships. I just really want to be a bit more positive rather than treating this as some sort of zero sum game.