Recently, I reconnected with a guy from university. We get along quite well, but I’m unsure if I find him physically attractive. If he expresses interest in dating, should I give it a chance or no?

To give a bit of background. This guy (I’ll call him Kevin) was always a nice and pleasant person when we were students. We had mutual friends and occasionally ran into one another on campus, but we never became actual friends or close. About 4 years ago at a 5 year alumni reunion, we chatted and he told me I looked great. Since then, we’ve periodically spoken via comments/posts on social media. Nothing flirtatious or anything, just genuinely friendly.

Two weeks ago, just before I flew to Beijing to visit with family for 2 weeks, Kevin reached out to me. He offered to help with anything should I need it as he’s pretty fluent in Mandarin and travels to China multiple times a year for work (business owner, recently sold a restaurant he started from scratch in DC, savvy hustler in general and works with Chinese manufacturers and distributors). Little did I know, but a few days into my trip, I became sick with a legit cold and needed to reach my travel insurance agency. Awesome surprise? The int’l number provided on the agency site didn’t work when calling from China with a Chinese SIM. I took Kevin up on his offer and asked him where he suggested I go in Beijing to get medicine. When I explained the situation with the travel agency, he insisted on calling and sitting on the phone with my travel insurance company for who knows how long and helped connect me with with the right people and ultimately get the assistance I needed for my “health crisis.” Needless to say, I was impressed and grateful because he was really helpful. In the last 2-3 weeks, I’d confidently say we have become friends and I really appreciated him checking up on me as he’s done even now I’m back in the States recovering from jet lag and Beijing air quality/seasonal allergy shit. We’ve caught up on things in many conversations on fb messenger and WeChat. He told me he remembers me being awesome in college and wishing we’d hung out more.

At one point in our convos, the topic of dating came up and we both admitted we didn’t focus on it much in college for sake of our studies (we went to a very academically rigorous school and while I’m intelligent, I’m not smart enough to ace engineering and philosophy courses while fucking around 🤣). I facetiously asked if he had dude friends who would be into me he could hook me up with. His response verbatim:

“What?! Im trying to think if I know of any guys deserving of someone as smart and beautiful as you! Most guys suck. Lol.”

Since returning to the States, his parents have been asked to relocate acosss the country to take over a hospital and some clinics (apparently they own medical facilities and one parent I think is a physician?) and are making the move within a couple weeks! Kevin, who has been kicking it with his parents, is now wanting to relocate and really wants to come back to the city where our alma mater is, which happens to be where I live. I asked if he’d been considering the move for a while since I know he’s always loved his time at our university and the city. He said that he had not, but was inspired by talking to me lately and the fact that he has nothing tying him to DC especially now his parents are moving and possibly selling their family home. He’s looking at finding work here and really wants to buy a place in the city or at least rent in a spot near downtown until he decides where to buy.

Whew - sorry that’s a lot to read haha. Anyway, all that to say, he hasn’t asked me out or anything, but between his being so helpful, kind and doing things like offering to help me learn Mandarin (for free), I’m wondering if at some point I’ll have to decide if I’m interested in him romantically or not (especially if he ends up moving back the city I live in). If so, I’m unsure if I am physically attracted to him; I don’t think he’s ugly at all, but I’m not sure I find him cute, either. Should I embrace the friendship and just see what happens?

TL;DR: genuinely sweet guy from my university days was helpful and we’ve become friends. I know he is physically attracted to me, but unsure if I am in case he expresses romantic interest.

Thanks for reading!

Submitted April 13, 2019 at 03:09PM

To give a bit of background. This guy (I’ll call him Kevin) was always a nice and pleasant person when we were students. We had mutual friends and occasionally ran into one another on campus, but we never became actual friends or close. About 4 years ago at a 5 year alumni reunion, we chatted and he told me I looked great. Since then, we’ve periodically spoken via comments/posts on social media. Nothing flirtatious or anything, just genuinely friendly.Two weeks ago, just before I flew to Beijing to visit with family for 2 weeks, Kevin reached out to me. He offered to help with anything should I need it as he’s pretty fluent in Mandarin and travels to China multiple times a year for work (business owner, recently sold a restaurant he started from scratch in DC, savvy hustler in general and works with Chinese manufacturers and distributors). Little did I know, but a few days into my trip, I became sick with a legit cold and needed to reach my travel insurance agency. Awesome surprise? The int’l number provided on the agency site didn’t work when calling from China with a Chinese SIM. I took Kevin up on his offer and asked him where he suggested I go in Beijing to get medicine. When I explained the situation with the travel agency, he insisted on calling and sitting on the phone with my travel insurance company for who knows how long and helped connect me with with the right people and ultimately get the assistance I needed for my “health crisis.” Needless to say, I was impressed and grateful because he was really helpful. In the last 2-3 weeks, I’d confidently say we have become friends and I really appreciated him checking up on me as he’s done even now I’m back in the States recovering from jet lag and Beijing air quality/seasonal allergy shit. We’ve caught up on things in many conversations on fb messenger and WeChat. He told me he remembers me being awesome in college and wishing we’d hung out more.At one point in our convos, the topic of dating came up and we both admitted we didn’t focus on it much in college for sake of our studies (we went to a very academically rigorous school and while I’m intelligent, I’m not smart enough to ace engineering and philosophy courses while fucking around 🤣). I facetiously asked if he had dude friends who would be into me he could hook me up with. His response verbatim:“What?! Im trying to think if I know of any guys deserving of someone as smart and beautiful as you! Most guys suck. Lol.”Since returning to the States, his parents have been asked to relocate acosss the country to take over a hospital and some clinics (apparently they own medical facilities and one parent I think is a physician?) and are making the move within a couple weeks! Kevin, who has been kicking it with his parents, is now wanting to relocate and really wants to come back to the city where our alma mater is, which happens to be where I live. I asked if he’d been considering the move for a while since I know he’s always loved his time at our university and the city. He said that he had not, but was inspired by talking to me lately and the fact that he has nothing tying him to DC especially now his parents are moving and possibly selling their family home. He’s looking at finding work here and really wants to buy a place in the city or at least rent in a spot near downtown until he decides where to buy.Whew - sorry that’s a lot to read haha. Anyway, all that to say, he hasn’t asked me out or anything, but between his being so helpful, kind and doing things like offering to help me learn Mandarin (for free), I’m wondering if at some point I’ll have to decide if I’m interested in him romantically or not (especially if he ends up moving back the city I live in). If so, I’m unsure if I am physically attracted to him; I don’t think he’s ugly at all, but I’m not sure I find him cute, either. Should I embrace the friendship and just see what happens?TL;DR: genuinely sweet guy from my university days was helpful and we’ve become friends. I know he is physically attracted to me, but unsure if I am in case he expresses romantic interest.Thanks for reading!