Conflicted over liking being single yet now I feel it’s the time to date.

I’ve always thought and told people the best time to find love is when your not looking for love but this is somewhat different. I guess due to being separated since last August and finally divorced last month, recently I’ve found myself reflecting on how nice the freedom of singleness is. Want to leave work early to go mountain biking? Fuck it, I’m doing it. Jaunt to Mexico with a bud that we decided upon after day drinking a couple weeks ago? Fuck it, it’s booked. Maybe these kinda things will eventually get old but it doesn’t seem that way now.

Ironically, this is also when feel it’s time to date. Queue the cognitive dissonance. I’ve had friends tell me in the past that they know someone that expressed interest in me but I’ve turned it down citing “bad idea for them as I’m not in a healthy dating state of mind” which was true. So now that I’m enjoying my bachelordom for a couple months, I now feel comfortable dating. I jump on the OLD thing last week and now I have a date set up for next week. I’m excited about it and look forward to meeting her in person but I can’t help but think “WTF... is this self sabotage I’m pulling? Is this even fair to whom I go out with?”

Anyone else felt like this? Dealt with it? Come out on the other side of it for better or worse?



Submitted April 13, 2019 at 06:02PM

I’ve always thought and told people the best time to find love is when your not looking for love but this is somewhat different. I guess due to being separated since last August and finally divorced last month, recently I’ve found myself reflecting on how nice the freedom of singleness is. Want to leave work early to go mountain biking? Fuck it, I’m doing it. Jaunt to Mexico with a bud that we decided upon after day drinking a couple weeks ago? Fuck it, it’s booked. Maybe these kinda things will eventually get old but it doesn’t seem that way now.Ironically, this is also when feel it’s time to date. Queue the cognitive dissonance. I’ve had friends tell me in the past that they know someone that expressed interest in me but I’ve turned it down citing “bad idea for them as I’m not in a healthy dating state of mind” which was true. So now that I’m enjoying my bachelordom for a couple months, I now feel comfortable dating. I jump on the OLD thing last week and now I have a date set up for next week. I’m excited about it and look forward to meeting her in person but I can’t help but think “WTF... is this self sabotage I’m pulling? Is this even fair to whom I go out with?”Anyone else felt like this? Dealt with it? Come out on the other side of it for better or worse?
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