Advice on going out alone.

So I (30/F) have been single for a year after being in a relationship for 8. I think i'm ready to start dating again, but after so long, it's just weird for me.

I used to be very confident and outgoing which made it incredibly easy to meet people, but i've changed a lot since then, I am now shy and reserved.

Life happened and wasn't always nice to me, my energy and physical appearance changed a lot. Aside from accepting what I can't change, i'm working on what I can, but it still a struggle to accept myself as I am now even though I hide it pretty well.

Now, my friends are all married, stay at home moms with at least 3 kids each. I love them and their family, but I'm the complet opposite, being a single, childless, professional woman.

When I offer to go out for a drink, they can't afford it, when I offer to pay, they can't afford the babysitter, so I usually join them at their place with a few bottles of wine, which is perfectly fine, but I really want to meet people with a similar lifestyle as mine.

I tried OLD, and met really nice people, even Tinder surprised me TBH, but I never dared going on a date with any of the guys because It didn't feel natural to me. I'd rather chat up someone in a bar, exchange number/messenger and see each other for a date afterwards.

Now, I don't mind doing things on my own, having lunch, going to the movies, for a hike or to the gym; I enjoy doing alone. But doing things like having a nice diner or a drink by myself, in the hopes of meeting someone is unknown territory to me.

As I said, i'm a bit more shy now, so to be honest, I'm more comfortable being approached than to approach, but I'm working on that, I've tried a few times but It didn't produce satisfying results.

Maybe i'm thinking too much, but I bought an elegant black dress, in which I think I look well put, professional and sexy in the hopes of meeting other single, childless professionals. I'm thinking of hitting bars, microbrewery or brewpubs, except I wonder what people think about loners in bars? I know going alone probably makes me more approachable. Should I take a table or sit at the bar? I feel sitting at the bar is not as inviting as a table, yet a table, people might think i'm waiting for someone.

Experiences, thoughts, suggestions?

I feel like a kid asking about dating, but I feel like it's been forever and don't know what normal single, childless people my age do except eat out, workout and travel lol.

TL;DR what are your thoughts on going out alone for drinks in the hope of meeting single, childless, professionals



Submitted April 14, 2019 at 12:02AM

So I (30/F) have been single for a year after being in a relationship for 8. I think i'm ready to start dating again, but after so long, it's just weird for me.I used to be very confident and outgoing which made it incredibly easy to meet people, but i've changed a lot since then, I am now shy and reserved.Life happened and wasn't always nice to me, my energy and physical appearance changed a lot. Aside from accepting what I can't change, i'm working on what I can, but it still a struggle to accept myself as I am now even though I hide it pretty well.Now, my friends are all married, stay at home moms with at least 3 kids each. I love them and their family, but I'm the complet opposite, being a single, childless, professional woman.When I offer to go out for a drink, they can't afford it, when I offer to pay, they can't afford the babysitter, so I usually join them at their place with a few bottles of wine, which is perfectly fine, but I really want to meet people with a similar lifestyle as mine.I tried OLD, and met really nice people, even Tinder surprised me TBH, but I never dared going on a date with any of the guys because It didn't feel natural to me. I'd rather chat up someone in a bar, exchange number/messenger and see each other for a date afterwards.Now, I don't mind doing things on my own, having lunch, going to the movies, for a hike or to the gym; I enjoy doing alone. But doing things like having a nice diner or a drink by myself, in the hopes of meeting someone is unknown territory to me.As I said, i'm a bit more shy now, so to be honest, I'm more comfortable being approached than to approach, but I'm working on that, I've tried a few times but It didn't produce satisfying results.Maybe i'm thinking too much, but I bought an elegant black dress, in which I think I look well put, professional and sexy in the hopes of meeting other single, childless professionals. I'm thinking of hitting bars, microbrewery or brewpubs, except I wonder what people think about loners in bars? I know going alone probably makes me more approachable. Should I take a table or sit at the bar? I feel sitting at the bar is not as inviting as a table, yet a table, people might think i'm waiting for someone.Experiences, thoughts, suggestions?I feel like a kid asking about dating, but I feel like it's been forever and don't know what normal single, childless people my age do except eat out, workout and travel lol.TL;DR what are your thoughts on going out alone for drinks in the hope of meeting single, childless, professionals
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