She doesn't know how to be sexy, Help.

I have been happily married for over 2 decades. My wife doesn't know how to be sexy. I am her first and only sexual partner according to her. Things are great except for the fact that she just doesn't know how to be sexy. Her attempts at trying to be sexy turn me off big time. I don't think she's doing it on purpose. When she's not trying and doing anything else I find her irresistible.

Getting dressed to go to work.

Cooking.

Watching TV.

Sleeping.

Reading a book while laying on the bed.

When she's on her computer.

Twirling a pencil around her fingers.

Talking on the phone.

​

Her attempts at being sexy are just disastrous and I do not want to get her mad by saying the wrong thing trying to let her know not to do some of the things shes doing. I have a little baggage on my part I've carried over from my previous relationship too. My ex was a professional manipulator and an expert at stroking a man's ego and libido. She was a savant when it came to being a tease. I hate comparing because in my mind one should never do that when it comes to partners.

​

My wife also likes watch shows like Law and Order SVU. Then after the show wants to get frisky. But I can't go there after watching a tv show about some poor rape victim or trafficked women. I guess my question is how does one apply constructive criticism to this situation?



Submitted April 14, 2019 at 01:52AM

I have been happily married for over 2 decades. My wife doesn't know how to be sexy. I am her first and only sexual partner according to her. Things are great except for the fact that she just doesn't know how to be sexy. Her attempts at trying to be sexy turn me off big time. I don't think she's doing it on purpose. When she's not trying and doing anything else I find her irresistible.Getting dressed to go to work.Cooking.Watching TV.Sleeping.Reading a book while laying on the bed.When she's on her computer.Twirling a pencil around her fingers.Talking on the phone.​Her attempts at being sexy are just disastrous and I do not want to get her mad by saying the wrong thing trying to let her know not to do some of the things shes doing. I have a little baggage on my part I've carried over from my previous relationship too. My ex was a professional manipulator and an expert at stroking a man's ego and libido. She was a savant when it came to being a tease. I hate comparing because in my mind one should never do that when it comes to partners.​My wife also likes watch shows like Law and Order SVU. Then after the show wants to get frisky. But I can't go there after watching a tv show about some poor rape victim or trafficked women. I guess my question is how does one apply constructive criticism to this situation?
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