If you had a break up in your late 30s....

I split with my partner of 4 years, living together over 2 years about 7 months ago. I thought we were in it for the long term. He came home one day and broke up with me out of the blue, so very not mutual.

I saw him out tonight and we spoke for a few minutes for the first time in 6 months. It felt ok, but I realized that I still really miss him and love him. I wish the breakup hadn't happened, but now that I've had some space I don't want us to get back together. I didn't like who I was with him and he didn't consider us partners. I was more like a sidekick.

How long does it take to get over this feeling? I have been on one date (OLD) a couple months ago and decided I wasn't ready. Should I go on a bunch of dates? Sleep around? I desperately just want to hang out with him and talk to him and tell him everything about my life. So now what? I feel like it's so much harder at this age because I thought I was done. I wasn't dating just for fun. I wanted something serious and I thought I had found someone. Looking for advice from anyone that's been in the same boat.



Submitted April 14, 2019 at 05:36AM

I split with my partner of 4 years, living together over 2 years about 7 months ago. I thought we were in it for the long term. He came home one day and broke up with me out of the blue, so very not mutual.I saw him out tonight and we spoke for a few minutes for the first time in 6 months. It felt ok, but I realized that I still really miss him and love him. I wish the breakup hadn't happened, but now that I've had some space I don't want us to get back together. I didn't like who I was with him and he didn't consider us partners. I was more like a sidekick.How long does it take to get over this feeling? I have been on one date (OLD) a couple months ago and decided I wasn't ready. Should I go on a bunch of dates? Sleep around? I desperately just want to hang out with him and talk to him and tell him everything about my life. So now what? I feel like it's so much harder at this age because I thought I was done. I wasn't dating just for fun. I wanted something serious and I thought I had found someone. Looking for advice from anyone that's been in the same boat.
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