Was he bi curious, was it really for the money? Help.

when i (currently 25F)began to date my bf (now husband (27M). I told him loyalty and trust are my main concern in relationships. I was bi curious at the time i met him (2015). I was about 22 then. My parents were always strict when it came to curfews and having sleep overs so i was never able to experiment before that age. My mom would also look into whom i was texting and whatnot. i made him aware that wether in a relationship or not id be also trying to experiment. in the those times i also felt like he wasn’t trying to focus on himself to do better so id break up so he could focus on himself and bettering himself. I mean i get my logic was weird at that time. I hooked up with men/women when we weren’t in a relationship in which i was honest to him about whenever he’d ask where id be or whatever question even though we weren’t together. I use to belittle him when we were bf and gf bc of his alcohol and no motivation (which i understand now it wasn’t the right approach). He always claimed i was his one and only and whatnot. That he was madly in love with me. Etc. his parents weren’t the greatest. They did harder drugs and alcohol, Jail but stayed together, have been together for 30 years.

I left the north early 2017. Mid 2017 came around when i found out that he had been doing porn for 4 years. Had sex with one girl on it but Mainly G4P... bc apparently it pays more on chaturbate than straight porn. And i think his guy best friend and him kissed once but it doesn’t show on the videos mostly shadow. Found out bc this chick whom was obsessed with him sent me the link to his page. Also, found out he had been having sex with women aside from porn when we were broken up. Which it’s fine because whatever we were broken up. But he always told me he was saving himself for me and he was trying to get his life together. We lived an hour from each other at that time. So i wasn’t able to do surprise visits or check on what he was up to. he also drank a lot back then (alcoholic)

Late 2017 i told him if he wanted have a relationship again, he’d have to move to me. i didn’t want to have a long distance relationship plus i wanted to get him out a bad place.

2018, we got married & been married 8 months or so. It’s been about 2 years since he’s stopped the videos. But it seems like all i can think about is how he lied to me for 3 years. How i didn’t catch it bc at that time i guess i didn’t pay as much attention. is he bi? Was he bicurious? Im sure straight male don’t just suck another mans D for money...? Will i ever be able to trust him? I’m lost. I feel like i’ll never be able to get over it or move past it. He says he is straight, that he’s only ever loved me. But how could you have been “in love” but yet done this all behind my back and on top of it denied it at first. he’s lied to me before how am i ever to trust him. I started going to counseling for myself but i don’t think it’ll help me in the long run. Ive helped him get his life together since 2018. I feel like i carry most of the weight.

Submitted May 03, 2019 at 01:02AM

when i (currently 25F)began to date my bf (now husband (27M). I told him loyalty and trust are my main concern in relationships. I was bi curious at the time i met him (2015). I was about 22 then. My parents were always strict when it came to curfews and having sleep overs so i was never able to experiment before that age. My mom would also look into whom i was texting and whatnot. i made him aware that wether in a relationship or not id be also trying to experiment. in the those times i also felt like he wasn’t trying to focus on himself to do better so id break up so he could focus on himself and bettering himself. I mean i get my logic was weird at that time. I hooked up with men/women when we weren’t in a relationship in which i was honest to him about whenever he’d ask where id be or whatever question even though we weren’t together. I use to belittle him when we were bf and gf bc of his alcohol and no motivation (which i understand now it wasn’t the right approach). He always claimed i was his one and only and whatnot. That he was madly in love with me. Etc. his parents weren’t the greatest. They did harder drugs and alcohol, Jail but stayed together, have been together for 30 years.I left the north early 2017. Mid 2017 came around when i found out that he had been doing porn for 4 years. Had sex with one girl on it but Mainly G4P... bc apparently it pays more on chaturbate than straight porn. And i think his guy best friend and him kissed once but it doesn’t show on the videos mostly shadow. Found out bc this chick whom was obsessed with him sent me the link to his page. Also, found out he had been having sex with women aside from porn when we were broken up. Which it’s fine because whatever we were broken up. But he always told me he was saving himself for me and he was trying to get his life together. We lived an hour from each other at that time. So i wasn’t able to do surprise visits or check on what he was up to. he also drank a lot back then (alcoholic)Late 2017 i told him if he wanted have a relationship again, he’d have to move to me. i didn’t want to have a long distance relationship plus i wanted to get him out a bad place.2018, we got married & been married 8 months or so. It’s been about 2 years since he’s stopped the videos. But it seems like all i can think about is how he lied to me for 3 years. How i didn’t catch it bc at that time i guess i didn’t pay as much attention. is he bi? Was he bicurious? Im sure straight male don’t just suck another mans D for money...? Will i ever be able to trust him? I’m lost. I feel like i’ll never be able to get over it or move past it. He says he is straight, that he’s only ever loved me. But how could you have been “in love” but yet done this all behind my back and on top of it denied it at first. he’s lied to me before how am i ever to trust him. I started going to counseling for myself but i don’t think it’ll help me in the long run. Ive helped him get his life together since 2018. I feel like i carry most of the weight.