/u/HavePlushieWillTalk on How to express appreciation of physical characteristics

I dunno, look, some aces can look at a person and go 'nice assembly' and I am sitting here like 'I like the part of your face that's covered in skin..?' She might be like me. Stuff I notice: you smell clean, that's good shit, yo. That shirt has the right number of holes (so it works for a new or distressed shirt). You look comfortable (comfort is underrated, I like it). Your hair was... combed? Good? Like, the stuff that says you're taking care of yourself and happy.

​

It's completely logical for you to feel concerned that you don't seem to be appreciated as you expect to be. That's something for you to work through, talk to her about it, and rearrange your expectations. If she can consciously think of saying nice things about you and says them, that is good even if it's not 'banging footwear choice today, friendo' [idfk what people say]. She might be thinking things like 'You're wearing an acceptable amount of deodorant and my eyes do not sting, That's great' but that doesn't sound sexy so she might not say it. Your dissatisfaction with the complements may mean she isn't trying, so that's why managing your expectations is important.

​

That being said, how about managing your expectations to other nice things about yourself? She might notice other things more. Like, 'that was a nice signature you just made, top 5.' Or can she comment on something you do/make/achieve that she notices and validate you that way?

​

Point is. This is a two-way street. Explain what you want. Manage your expectations to do-able shit. Build from there.

May 03, 2019 at 06:11AM