/u/aBumble on Any confused allos?

I guess I kind of am. I usually only feel sexual desire when feelings are involved and right now they kind of are and I’m in a bit of a puddle.

I’m slightly into my best friend, not enough to care for a relationship, but enough to want more than friends with her, or some kind of fwb.

But, I feel like I won’t be able to be sexually driven with her. I sometimes think I can once we get there, but I also think I won’t be into it and ruin the whole thing.

To be honest, I don’t even know what I want with her, I just know I feel like I want more of her, cause we are hella close and I do have love for her and her for me as well. But I know she’d want to be sexual and I’m afraid I won’t be able to perform. I hope I can, but my piece is kind of like permanently hibernated. And I just don’t see myself having that drive for it.

I am a physically and touch starved as a person so maybe I just don’t know how to be physical and I’m sort of repressed, but I feel like I need to experience it and at the same time I’m afraid it’s gonna be disappointing.

At the same time I think I should move on from her, even though I like the idea of hugging and holding her, she is definitely more sexual than me and would expect more, so I guess whatever. And the whole reason we ended up becoming best friends was cause of a similar reason. She came onto me but I was so uninterested and physically lost on how to behave that we just developed a tight nit friendship after she grew tired of me not physically pursuing her. But back then I just thought of her as a friend and didn’t want sex but enjoyed the physical contact. I want more physical contact but not really ready, or even care, for sex yet maybe? But I practically never get aroused so I’m scared of that. Now that I think about it, it’s a lot to do with fear of not meeting someone else’s expectation which I should not give a fuck about. I’ll ask her if she’s down for hugs and cuddles first and if not then I’ll bounce.

May 22, 2019 at 06:31AM