Begging for last chance

Husband and I have been together for 8 years. We barely get along but we try. Since the beginning we both agreed I wouldn’t work and I’d stay home with kids until they start school. But we only ended up having one child with special needs. We had horrible experiences with school and decided we’d homeschool instead. At that point I made it clear that things would probably remain the same if we homeschool or he’d stay at home and I’d work. Something minimal today turned into a huge fight. He started giving hints to me saying “you have to be prepared for anything. Or like when this ends.” Turns out that today he made it clear to me that the only reason he’s with me is because I don’t have a career at the moment and doesn’t want to see me struggle if we split. He always makes stupid comments about how he’s the only one that works and I have it easy. I am very thankful and often show it but this dude constantly wants more than average recognition. He’s messed up this relationship so many times and I’ve been dumb enough to stay. I don’t know what to do at this point. I love him but I’m not in love with him if it makes any sense. We fight a lot. He is pig and can’t even toss his q tips in the trash. So you can imagine just how lazy and messy he is and of course he expects me to clean up after him. I made my mind about leaving even though I will struggle but he keeps bugging. I have absolutely no help from family or anyone really. If I start working, my child will have to go back to school and it kills me just thinking about it. I wouldn’t mind making the sacrifice of stay for my child but I’d like to be a little selfish for once and think of my happiness. There is not one day that we don’t fight. There is no trust, he’s betrayed me multiple times. He’s very narcissistic. Sex is like once every month and a half. When he asks for it because I never look for him for that anymore. I stopped feeling that attraction for him with all the bs. I’ve been living like this for years. So question is what do I do? Do I stay and give him a chance? Do you think people change? Or should I just stay while I get my stuff going to not struggle so much? Or just I just leave now?

Submitted May 22, 2019 at 05:47AM

Husband and I have been together for 8 years. We barely get along but we try. Since the beginning we both agreed I wouldn’t work and I’d stay home with kids until they start school. But we only ended up having one child with special needs. We had horrible experiences with school and decided we’d homeschool instead. At that point I made it clear that things would probably remain the same if we homeschool or he’d stay at home and I’d work. Something minimal today turned into a huge fight. He started giving hints to me saying “you have to be prepared for anything. Or like when this ends.” Turns out that today he made it clear to me that the only reason he’s with me is because I don’t have a career at the moment and doesn’t want to see me struggle if we split. He always makes stupid comments about how he’s the only one that works and I have it easy. I am very thankful and often show it but this dude constantly wants more than average recognition. He’s messed up this relationship so many times and I’ve been dumb enough to stay. I don’t know what to do at this point. I love him but I’m not in love with him if it makes any sense. We fight a lot. He is pig and can’t even toss his q tips in the trash. So you can imagine just how lazy and messy he is and of course he expects me to clean up after him. I made my mind about leaving even though I will struggle but he keeps bugging. I have absolutely no help from family or anyone really. If I start working, my child will have to go back to school and it kills me just thinking about it. I wouldn’t mind making the sacrifice of stay for my child but I’d like to be a little selfish for once and think of my happiness. There is not one day that we don’t fight. There is no trust, he’s betrayed me multiple times. He’s very narcissistic. Sex is like once every month and a half. When he asks for it because I never look for him for that anymore. I stopped feeling that attraction for him with all the bs. I’ve been living like this for years. So question is what do I do? Do I stay and give him a chance? Do you think people change? Or should I just stay while I get my stuff going to not struggle so much? Or just I just leave now?