Never been in a relationship and it's incredibly difficult to start one [20F]

I feel so hopeless trying to enter the dating scene but it's something I want badly. I'm a 20 year old female and I never really been in a relationship/had a boyfriend ever. I was very shy and introverted in my teens and a time where my anxiety was starting to appear so that made talking to guys challenging for me.

Since graduating high school I thought I'd meet someone at my new job or college because my sisters and a cousin my age did and well...nothing. I'm still shy so the idea of going to parties/clubs/bars isn't my scene and I feel like I won't find someone there compatible with my personality or interests and want the same thing I do.

I won't lie and I'm not trying to sound conceited, but I am an attractive woman. Never been approached by a guy (except school dances) but some stares here and there.

I've gained a lot of confidence this year alone and realized I wasn't ugly after all lol. I joined tinder a couple months ago (didn't want to-desperate last resort) ended up making me depressed for a month and even more hopeless. I was constantly told not to settle. I've got one date from tinder, just to put myself out there and see where things went. No spark but I didn't regret it. I get requests from guys online and guys I graduated with on facebook but I have no interest in them or they are too far away. Weeding out the guys who want something serious and no hookups on tinder is exhausting. I feel picky and ungrateful but I am just holding on for the right guy.

I thought I found that with some guy I matched with on tinder. He messaged me first and I found him interesting, cute, great personality, easy to talk to..and looking for a relationship! first couple of days we had long and amazing conversations. You can tell he was interested in me, I had to be the first to initiate everything though-gave him my number, suggested a date, etc.

After that he wasn't always initiating conversations first everyday, it would be me. He also took long to respond or even a day and he would constantly apologize and make different excuses as to why he didn't respond. I forgave him because I just didn't want to lose him because I felt he was so perfect for me and it would be hard to find someone like him again.

We have been talking for almost a month and I decided to try something. Wednesday after my night class I texted him first, he took long to respond as usual and I can tell he was uninterested. Next day I got the flu and I refused to text him first. We are going on the third day and he hasn't texted me once. It stings..but I accepted the fact that if he really was interested he'd text me.

I'm just upset I have to start all over again and wasted my time and energy in this guy. I honestly fear trying tinder or online dating again but meeting people in real life isn't really an option and hasn't been for years :/ I feel like giving up!

Submitted May 04, 2019 at 11:37PM

I feel so hopeless trying to enter the dating scene but it's something I want badly. I'm a 20 year old female and I never really been in a relationship/had a boyfriend ever. I was very shy and introverted in my teens and a time where my anxiety was starting to appear so that made talking to guys challenging for me.Since graduating high school I thought I'd meet someone at my new job or college because my sisters and a cousin my age did and well...nothing. I'm still shy so the idea of going to parties/clubs/bars isn't my scene and I feel like I won't find someone there compatible with my personality or interests and want the same thing I do.I won't lie and I'm not trying to sound conceited, but I am an attractive woman. Never been approached by a guy (except school dances) but some stares here and there.I've gained a lot of confidence this year alone and realized I wasn't ugly after all lol. I joined tinder a couple months ago (didn't want to-desperate last resort) ended up making me depressed for a month and even more hopeless. I was constantly told not to settle. I've got one date from tinder, just to put myself out there and see where things went. No spark but I didn't regret it. I get requests from guys online and guys I graduated with on facebook but I have no interest in them or they are too far away. Weeding out the guys who want something serious and no hookups on tinder is exhausting. I feel picky and ungrateful but I am just holding on for the right guy.I thought I found that with some guy I matched with on tinder. He messaged me first and I found him interesting, cute, great personality, easy to talk to..and looking for a relationship! first couple of days we had long and amazing conversations. You can tell he was interested in me, I had to be the first to initiate everything though-gave him my number, suggested a date, etc.After that he wasn't always initiating conversations first everyday, it would be me. He also took long to respond or even a day and he would constantly apologize and make different excuses as to why he didn't respond. I forgave him because I just didn't want to lose him because I felt he was so perfect for me and it would be hard to find someone like him again.We have been talking for almost a month and I decided to try something. Wednesday after my night class I texted him first, he took long to respond as usual and I can tell he was uninterested. Next day I got the flu and I refused to text him first. We are going on the third day and he hasn't texted me once. It stings..but I accepted the fact that if he really was interested he'd text me.I'm just upset I have to start all over again and wasted my time and energy in this guy. I honestly fear trying tinder or online dating again but meeting people in real life isn't really an option and hasn't been for years :/ I feel like giving up!