Best way to accommodate someone with PTSD

So, I’ve been dating someone who I’ve known for about a year, we’ve only been seriously dating for a few weeks now. She’s amazing, we compliment each other in many ways and I’m on the fringe of loving her which which I don’t say or take lightly.

She’s always been someone who handles all issues herself, she doesn’t have a very open or supportive family sadly but she’s a deeply caring person.

A few years ago she was raped at gunpoint which is something she never told anyone for a year and a half (because she really had no one there for her) and she’s been going to therapy which thankfully has helped her a great deal (therapy is great, if you feel like you need it, please go).

Like I said, I care greatly for this girl but I want to be able to be there for her, she’s opened up and told me things she hasn’t told anyone else and I know she cares about me a great deal.

The last few times we’ve gone to sleep together, (we normally cuddle as we fall asleep) she’ll wake up and tense her body up, like, if her arms are around me she’ll squeeze me and almost panic but it’s completely involuntary. Last night we had a great time and I woke up to her waking up and almost having a panic attack, again squeezing me. When I tried to console her by putting my arm around her she politely asked me to take my arm off because she couldn’t handle it. I fully understand that and she’s very clear it’s not because it’s me. She’s told me that’s a mild panic attack of hers and that they get much worse even though she goes to sleep much easier with me than she has anyone before since she feels safe and comfortable with me.

I was just wondering if anyone has dealt with this before or had any ideas of how I can help her? I know it’s not an overnight thing and I’m nothing but supportive of her as it’s obviously not her fault but I really care and want to do whatever I can to help her... does anyone have any idea? I’m sorry for the long post but thank you for reading

Submitted May 05, 2019 at 12:40AM

So, I’ve been dating someone who I’ve known for about a year, we’ve only been seriously dating for a few weeks now. She’s amazing, we compliment each other in many ways and I’m on the fringe of loving her which which I don’t say or take lightly.She’s always been someone who handles all issues herself, she doesn’t have a very open or supportive family sadly but she’s a deeply caring person.A few years ago she was raped at gunpoint which is something she never told anyone for a year and a half (because she really had no one there for her) and she’s been going to therapy which thankfully has helped her a great deal (therapy is great, if you feel like you need it, please go).Like I said, I care greatly for this girl but I want to be able to be there for her, she’s opened up and told me things she hasn’t told anyone else and I know she cares about me a great deal.The last few times we’ve gone to sleep together, (we normally cuddle as we fall asleep) she’ll wake up and tense her body up, like, if her arms are around me she’ll squeeze me and almost panic but it’s completely involuntary. Last night we had a great time and I woke up to her waking up and almost having a panic attack, again squeezing me. When I tried to console her by putting my arm around her she politely asked me to take my arm off because she couldn’t handle it. I fully understand that and she’s very clear it’s not because it’s me. She’s told me that’s a mild panic attack of hers and that they get much worse even though she goes to sleep much easier with me than she has anyone before since she feels safe and comfortable with me.I was just wondering if anyone has dealt with this before or had any ideas of how I can help her? I know it’s not an overnight thing and I’m nothing but supportive of her as it’s obviously not her fault but I really care and want to do whatever I can to help her... does anyone have any idea? I’m sorry for the long post but thank you for reading