My wife smokes week almost every day, what should I do?

When our relationship first started she had told me of her previous addiction to prescription drugs due to her depression. She says that weed had helped her off of pills and now doesn’t do them at all. When we met she had stopped smoking weed for about a year and didn’t plan to start smoking any time soon.

Now i’m Active duty military so hearing “no smoking” is great for me as I can’t be around the stuff. At the time I was extremely against smoking weed even though I smoked a few times growing up. I’m not too sure of the root cause of my hate besides possibly how I was raised and how it puts my job on the line.

After about a year of our relationship I found out that she had smoked one day. She claims that was the first time but I figured it was the first time she got caught. I started to catch her more and more and I soon picked up a habit of looking through her phone since I just assumed she had lied to me about where she had been and what she was doing which unfortunately I was right.

As times passed I someone got over her smoking since I valued our relationship more than a habit she had picked up. We got married down the road and she had only been smoking once or twice a month.she has since made a new friend which shines nearly every day so of course she soon picked up the same consistency. She makes excuses that she smoked because she was in a bad mood, that she had to smoke to get a good run in or a good workout. She has since admitted that she smokes because she likes the way it makes her feel.

Now this is an issue as I do not like being around her when she smokes. I feel like she is a different person and I don’t connect with her. I don’t really want to talk or be with her honestly. She would rather get a divorce than stop smoking at all. I don’t want our marriage to end just because of weed so I do my best to just get over it. I stopped looking at her phone long ago and I log out of her social media accounts on my phone so I’m never tempted to look. I know I’ll just put myself in a bad mood

I don’t want to ask her to quit either as I feel it isn’t fair. I mean I take pre workout daily among other supplements as they make me feel good. Maybe it’s just because of how I don’t feel connected to her when she smokes? I feel I may not even understand the cause of my distress with weed. Any tips would be greatly appreciated!

Submitted May 14, 2019 at 04:37AM

When our relationship first started she had told me of her previous addiction to prescription drugs due to her depression. She says that weed had helped her off of pills and now doesn’t do them at all. When we met she had stopped smoking weed for about a year and didn’t plan to start smoking any time soon.Now i’m Active duty military so hearing “no smoking” is great for me as I can’t be around the stuff. At the time I was extremely against smoking weed even though I smoked a few times growing up. I’m not too sure of the root cause of my hate besides possibly how I was raised and how it puts my job on the line.After about a year of our relationship I found out that she had smoked one day. She claims that was the first time but I figured it was the first time she got caught. I started to catch her more and more and I soon picked up a habit of looking through her phone since I just assumed she had lied to me about where she had been and what she was doing which unfortunately I was right.As times passed I someone got over her smoking since I valued our relationship more than a habit she had picked up. We got married down the road and she had only been smoking once or twice a month.she has since made a new friend which shines nearly every day so of course she soon picked up the same consistency. She makes excuses that she smoked because she was in a bad mood, that she had to smoke to get a good run in or a good workout. She has since admitted that she smokes because she likes the way it makes her feel.Now this is an issue as I do not like being around her when she smokes. I feel like she is a different person and I don’t connect with her. I don’t really want to talk or be with her honestly. She would rather get a divorce than stop smoking at all. I don’t want our marriage to end just because of weed so I do my best to just get over it. I stopped looking at her phone long ago and I log out of her social media accounts on my phone so I’m never tempted to look. I know I’ll just put myself in a bad moodI don’t want to ask her to quit either as I feel it isn’t fair. I mean I take pre workout daily among other supplements as they make me feel good. Maybe it’s just because of how I don’t feel connected to her when she smokes? I feel I may not even understand the cause of my distress with weed. Any tips would be greatly appreciated!