5 Years Single by Choice

Not really sure where I'm going with this post but I'm in an odd place mentally right now.

I had a serious LDR almost 5 years ago. It probably would've ended up OK, but my mom was dying of cancer at the time and I belonged where I was. I couldn't move cross country and leave behind my extremely vulnerable family after my mom passed. I was also in a lot of debt and would have put myself in worse debt trying to move. So, I called it off. I hated hurting another person like that and I was guilt ridden by my decision for a long time but it was the right one in the end.

After my mom died, I have been single ever since. I needed to process my grief from her death and my former relationship and get my life together. I'm doing so much better and the hardship has turned me into a pretty well rounded person, at least I hope so. I've been the happiest I've ever been. I've traveled some, explored my own interests and have made lots of new friends in that time.

The problem is well meaning friends try and set me up and it's never with anyone I click with or am attracted to. Men approach me a lot and I'm usually not interested for multiple reasons. I'm pretty good at knowing who I'm attracted to and what I'm looking for. I'm fine with the idea of being alone indefinitely. I'm also fine with meeting someone that I'm attracted to and actually like that I choose. I could really go either way at this point.

The problem is that once people learn I'm single they take it as a greenlight to pursue or try and set me up despite my asking them to stop. This gets very awkward very fast. I've resulted to lying about being single. I've stopped talking to friends/acquaintances who insist on setting me up. With certain people it always got brought up without fail and not by me. It's my business, not theirs. I stopped coming around because it's disrespectful to keep doing something after someone tells you to stop. I have no problem meeting people on my own, I just haven't felt the urge to up until very recently.

I'm on the cusp of getting back out there again but it sounds really exhausting and I wonder if I should just keep enjoying my own company. I guess I just hate the stigma of being single more than anything.



Submitted May 13, 2019 at 09:58PM

Not really sure where I'm going with this post but I'm in an odd place mentally right now.I had a serious LDR almost 5 years ago. It probably would've ended up OK, but my mom was dying of cancer at the time and I belonged where I was. I couldn't move cross country and leave behind my extremely vulnerable family after my mom passed. I was also in a lot of debt and would have put myself in worse debt trying to move. So, I called it off. I hated hurting another person like that and I was guilt ridden by my decision for a long time but it was the right one in the end.After my mom died, I have been single ever since. I needed to process my grief from her death and my former relationship and get my life together. I'm doing so much better and the hardship has turned me into a pretty well rounded person, at least I hope so. I've been the happiest I've ever been. I've traveled some, explored my own interests and have made lots of new friends in that time.The problem is well meaning friends try and set me up and it's never with anyone I click with or am attracted to. Men approach me a lot and I'm usually not interested for multiple reasons. I'm pretty good at knowing who I'm attracted to and what I'm looking for. I'm fine with the idea of being alone indefinitely. I'm also fine with meeting someone that I'm attracted to and actually like that I choose. I could really go either way at this point.The problem is that once people learn I'm single they take it as a greenlight to pursue or try and set me up despite my asking them to stop. This gets very awkward very fast. I've resulted to lying about being single. I've stopped talking to friends/acquaintances who insist on setting me up. With certain people it always got brought up without fail and not by me. It's my business, not theirs. I stopped coming around because it's disrespectful to keep doing something after someone tells you to stop. I have no problem meeting people on my own, I just haven't felt the urge to up until very recently.I'm on the cusp of getting back out there again but it sounds really exhausting and I wonder if I should just keep enjoying my own company. I guess I just hate the stigma of being single more than anything.
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