Conflicted and unsure of what I've done

Hello everyone. As the title suggests, I am conflicted about a situation I have put myself into.

I have a crush on this guy (let's call him Steve) ive been working with since February. He is the sweetest person ever. To me he is perfect: accomplished, lovely, encouraging, supportive, and protective. He's a goofball and funny and... the list would go on forever. If you'd like please read through my other post where I talk about interactions I have had with him. Everyone in my office thinks something is happening between us. I'm falling for him for all the reasons. I light up when I get messages from him. I look forward to seeing him at work. And we have great chemistry and relationship together. We havent been on a date together yet. Sometimes when we plan, things happen and it's become an inside joke. Sometimes things happen with me, other times with him. He asked me out for coffee in a few weeks time because of finals and because the country I live in participates in Ramadan. He fasts and I dont but I completely respect that and would anticipate going out with him, looking forward to it. He is definitely shy but when we were hanging out at work yesterday, I realized how he is very much more comfortable around him. He shows all signs of liking me but I'm just an idiot and in straight up denial. He shows off in front of my friends and calls me sweet names like princess, queen and even teases me sometimes which is cute.

But last night, I think I did something i shouldnt have....?

Early this month, I worked on an event with some organizers. Since I was the head of handling the organizers, I worked alongside people I knew and people I didnt. There was this guy (let's call him adam) who was nothing but respectful, sweet, charismatic and nice to me while we were working. Last night he reaches out to me and we start talking about what we do. And he would not stop complimenting me. It felt nice of course, who wouldnt like to be complimented. But the compliments went beyond and I realized he is flirting. I tried to play it off with jokes.. so Anyway... it ended with him asking me if I like Italian and that we could have dinner after a week or two because of the finals. I told him I've gotten food poisoning from Italian but said it sounds good. He plans to see me on Wednesday which is a day Steve would be at work.

Now.. I've realized that I have posted this because I'm conflicted. Of course, I like Steve more than Adam because I've developed a relationship with him. And I dont know why I accepted to go out with Adam. I can just casually go and take it as though it is just a dinner and not mention anything to Steve (obviously). But what do I do if he asks? Steve is a quite curious person and whenever he sees me interact with other guys, he is not afraid to comment. The other day, a colleague of mine invites me over for a group dinner, and he makes a comment on how it looked like he was asking me out. I brushed it off and laughed and told him he wasnt my type anyway.

I dont want to ghost Adam or to turn down his offer now. Perhaps later on I could speak to him and tell him I'm in a way committed. But the thing is that I'm not committed to Steve. I want him to make a move tbh. I'm just waiting and it's going to happen but thing is he is a shy person who will take time to open up. Especially to me. He seems cool and open to everyone but with me, he is different. He is a lot more sensitive you could say.

Steve and Adam are both shy people despite both being good looking and confident on the outside. But that's how they deal with things and that's how they interact with people, I can't judge them on that. In fact yesterday afternoon i asked my friend to ask Steve if he'd like to join us for a Ramadan group dinner soon. I'm thinking to arrange it for him to be asked tomorrow (on Wednesday.)

Did I screw up? Would this cause Steve to back off? because I wouldn't ever want him to think that I'm not interested in him. A few of my friends who work in another office know my feelings for him. The ones in my office dont and I want to keep it that way because if things dont work out, i wouldn't want him to feel awkward or make work difficult between us. If he sees other guys interacting, would there be a chance he would step up and take action? Could i make a small comment and say whoa... i helped this guy (adam) out with his documents and he just asked me out...? That's crazy. If I say that, Steve would probably ask me what i responded. Jesus.....! I feel so conflicted. Please help me.

Will update you accordingly.

Submitted May 14, 2019 at 04:56AM

Hello everyone. As the title suggests, I am conflicted about a situation I have put myself into.I have a crush on this guy (let's call him Steve) ive been working with since February. He is the sweetest person ever. To me he is perfect: accomplished, lovely, encouraging, supportive, and protective. He's a goofball and funny and... the list would go on forever. If you'd like please read through my other post where I talk about interactions I have had with him. Everyone in my office thinks something is happening between us. I'm falling for him for all the reasons. I light up when I get messages from him. I look forward to seeing him at work. And we have great chemistry and relationship together. We havent been on a date together yet. Sometimes when we plan, things happen and it's become an inside joke. Sometimes things happen with me, other times with him. He asked me out for coffee in a few weeks time because of finals and because the country I live in participates in Ramadan. He fasts and I dont but I completely respect that and would anticipate going out with him, looking forward to it. He is definitely shy but when we were hanging out at work yesterday, I realized how he is very much more comfortable around him. He shows all signs of liking me but I'm just an idiot and in straight up denial. He shows off in front of my friends and calls me sweet names like princess, queen and even teases me sometimes which is cute.But last night, I think I did something i shouldnt have....?Early this month, I worked on an event with some organizers. Since I was the head of handling the organizers, I worked alongside people I knew and people I didnt. There was this guy (let's call him adam) who was nothing but respectful, sweet, charismatic and nice to me while we were working. Last night he reaches out to me and we start talking about what we do. And he would not stop complimenting me. It felt nice of course, who wouldnt like to be complimented. But the compliments went beyond and I realized he is flirting. I tried to play it off with jokes.. so Anyway... it ended with him asking me if I like Italian and that we could have dinner after a week or two because of the finals. I told him I've gotten food poisoning from Italian but said it sounds good. He plans to see me on Wednesday which is a day Steve would be at work.Now.. I've realized that I have posted this because I'm conflicted. Of course, I like Steve more than Adam because I've developed a relationship with him. And I dont know why I accepted to go out with Adam. I can just casually go and take it as though it is just a dinner and not mention anything to Steve (obviously). But what do I do if he asks? Steve is a quite curious person and whenever he sees me interact with other guys, he is not afraid to comment. The other day, a colleague of mine invites me over for a group dinner, and he makes a comment on how it looked like he was asking me out. I brushed it off and laughed and told him he wasnt my type anyway.I dont want to ghost Adam or to turn down his offer now. Perhaps later on I could speak to him and tell him I'm in a way committed. But the thing is that I'm not committed to Steve. I want him to make a move tbh. I'm just waiting and it's going to happen but thing is he is a shy person who will take time to open up. Especially to me. He seems cool and open to everyone but with me, he is different. He is a lot more sensitive you could say.Steve and Adam are both shy people despite both being good looking and confident on the outside. But that's how they deal with things and that's how they interact with people, I can't judge them on that. In fact yesterday afternoon i asked my friend to ask Steve if he'd like to join us for a Ramadan group dinner soon. I'm thinking to arrange it for him to be asked tomorrow (on Wednesday.)Did I screw up? Would this cause Steve to back off? because I wouldn't ever want him to think that I'm not interested in him. A few of my friends who work in another office know my feelings for him. The ones in my office dont and I want to keep it that way because if things dont work out, i wouldn't want him to feel awkward or make work difficult between us. If he sees other guys interacting, would there be a chance he would step up and take action? Could i make a small comment and say whoa... i helped this guy (adam) out with his documents and he just asked me out...? That's crazy. If I say that, Steve would probably ask me what i responded. Jesus.....! I feel so conflicted. Please help me.Will update you accordingly.