Words hurt

I know this to be true. It was my words that wounded my husband and led to the start of our deadbedroom. I am not going to hash that out, so please don't ask. I have worked hard in the last three years to make up for my mistakes. I have done a lot of self-improvement.

Lately, I have noticed a running theme to our arguments. He always phrases things as "I have told you this 100 times" "If you listened the first time" "how many times are you going to bring this up" Sure, I need assurance in the past 3 years of our DB. He doesn't see how any of this is abusive and condescending. I restart therapy next week for myself. Our latest argument ended with me saying we either need to do counseling or decide how to tell the kids we are ending things. When the DB first started he refused couples counseling because I was the one to make the mistake to our relationship and I should be the one to fix it. And, I did. 18 months of consistently going and working on my issues that made me lash out. They are late teen/early adult and I know without a doubt they can sense the weird vibe in the air between us.

Submitted April 30, 2019 at 06:43PM

I know this to be true. It was my words that wounded my husband and led to the start of our deadbedroom. I am not going to hash that out, so please don't ask. I have worked hard in the last three years to make up for my mistakes. I have done a lot of self-improvement.Lately, I have noticed a running theme to our arguments. He always phrases things as "I have told you this 100 times" "If you listened the first time" "how many times are you going to bring this up" Sure, I need assurance in the past 3 years of our DB. He doesn't see how any of this is abusive and condescending. I restart therapy next week for myself. Our latest argument ended with me saying we either need to do counseling or decide how to tell the kids we are ending things. When the DB first started he refused couples counseling because I was the one to make the mistake to our relationship and I should be the one to fix it. And, I did. 18 months of consistently going and working on my issues that made me lash out. They are late teen/early adult and I know without a doubt they can sense the weird vibe in the air between us.