Husband (26M) has no faith in me (24F) to do new job right based on previous failures

I apoligize for the wall of text. This got longer then I expected TLDR at the bottom.

To give some background husband and I met in high school when I was 16 and he was 17 and have been together since and just celebrated our 9 year anniversary.

After graduation we both started off in the work force working at a local fast food place. 9 years later he is still working at that place as a assistant manager. In those 9 years, I left to work at a few differnet jobs to try different fields out. Because i was not happy at the fast food place.

Through all theses years I have also struggled with severe anxiety and depression and after my dad died in 2015 that became much more heighten. I've tried to keep it under control but there are some days that get the best me and I've had to stay home and call out from work. It's every several months that it happens if that but husband has said things on those days like "get over it" "just ignore it and push through" I know in his own way he's trying to motive me, but he doesn't understand the struggles of mental health and often times he hurts my feelings more then it helps.

When i first left the fast food place I worked at a call center for spectrum cable billing for 2 years, I was fired from spectrum because a customer called the FCC and complained that I wouldn't extend their bill anymore. I literally couldn't they were 45 days past due and had used all their courtesy extensions so the billing system wouldn't allow me too even if I wanted to and I remember transferring that call to a supervisor to handle. I had no history of write ups or even verbal warnings. I feel like there was nothing I could have done in that situation and literally wasn't my fault.

After that I worked in a deli inside a grocery store I was also fired from the deli for ringing my self up for a 99 cent can of soda. Again no history of write up or verbal warnings.

Then i got my liscense as a life insurance agent. Now the insurance thing I left on my own. The upper management wasn't giving me any leads and basically treating me as a glorified assistant because they wanted me to "prove myself" before they would assign me leads by going door to door to find new clients. I was not comfortable with that. When I was hired I was never told I would have to do that and was not in the job description or explained when I interviewed. I worked really hard and studied for 2 months to get my insurance liscense and felt a little taken advantage of. We were financially falling behind badly because I wasn't getting leads to make money on. So I decided to leave.

My husband still had many contacts with other locations of this fast food place so he helped me get a job at a differnet location then his just so we'd have income.

It's now 2 years later it I am burned out and fed up. Management gives me maybe 20-25 hours a week if that and we have a staff of 40 when a normal location has maybe 25. There's not enough hours to go around. I try to pick up shifts when I can but its hard because husband and I share a car so often times if management trys to call me to ask me to come in husband has already left with the car and I cant always get a ride from friends. And Im not guaranteed hours like my husband is because he a manager.

My Husband also feels burned out from the fast food place and constantly complains about how much he does as a manage for such little pay. But he's not doing anything go find other work. He just complains and comes home stressed and bitches about all aspects of the job his excuse is no one's going to take him anywhere because he's only worked one job. That his resume is lacking.

I on the other hand have been looking for better work since I came back. I've been searching carefully though. I didn't want to end up in another place that will toss you out after your first mistake. Or something that I'm going to hate but work just because of the money. I wanted a career not just a job if that makes sense. I finally found something that sounds perfect and have an interview next week. Problem is the interview is at the companies home office in another city about an hour away.

We had one of our best friends die in a freak accident on the freeway in high school that was horrific and has scared me ever since. I almost didn't get my liscense because if it. I can drive on the free way locally but long distance or out of town freaks me out and give me a severe panic attack.

I assumed my husband would be fine taking me as it is such a great opportunity and Id be making more then him with opportunity for raises every 6 months. But instead he said "are you sure you want to do this? And your not going to fuck up or get fired again or just decided to quit just because it gets to hard for you or not going your way? Or call out all the time like you do now" when I got fired from spectrum and the deli at the time he was SO supportive and was like "that's bullshit other then those small incidents you were a model employee" or on those days when my mind got the better of me and I called out he was so caring abd supportive and one of those days he even called out with me! but now suddenly he resents me and says I can't do anything right and hes tired of providing for the home while I sit at home and do "nothing" when often times im deep cleaning and taking care of our animals or looking for other work. But he doesn't trust me to keep a job that not fast food. He expects me to get fired if I go anywhere else. That I thrive at the fast food place and why would I wanna go anywhere else? Why don't you just tough it out and work toward being in management?" And I'm like why would I want to do that when you consitantly complain about manager duties? "Yeah but it's better pay" only by like a dollar more where as if I got this job is be make 7 dollars more an hour then I am now plus guaranteed 40 hours and a set schedule. He essentially told me don't even bother with this new job because I'll probably fail or get fired from it too making him have to work harder to pay rent.

Any advice on how to handle this with my husband is appreciated. I really don't know where to go from here. I support him in anything he does even if I have my doubts or don't like or understand his interests. And I would love for him to get a job in something he really loves or is interested in just wish he would take the leap. I also just wish he would support me the same way.

Side note: we have renters insurance that covers lost wages for up to 3 months if your terminated from a job so while I understand his logic I don't understand his lashing out at me in anger of possibly having to work harder to make rent

TLDR: I've been fired from 2 jobs in the past and quit one because it turned out differnet then the employee explained it to be . Also struggle with mental health so have called out from fast food job maybe twice in the past 2 years because of it and now my husband resents me because of theses failings and told me not to bother trying to get new job because I'll probably fail at that as well.

Submitted May 01, 2019 at 05:33AM

I apoligize for the wall of text. This got longer then I expected TLDR at the bottom.To give some background husband and I met in high school when I was 16 and he was 17 and have been together since and just celebrated our 9 year anniversary.After graduation we both started off in the work force working at a local fast food place. 9 years later he is still working at that place as a assistant manager. In those 9 years, I left to work at a few differnet jobs to try different fields out. Because i was not happy at the fast food place.Through all theses years I have also struggled with severe anxiety and depression and after my dad died in 2015 that became much more heighten. I've tried to keep it under control but there are some days that get the best me and I've had to stay home and call out from work. It's every several months that it happens if that but husband has said things on those days like "get over it" "just ignore it and push through" I know in his own way he's trying to motive me, but he doesn't understand the struggles of mental health and often times he hurts my feelings more then it helps.When i first left the fast food place I worked at a call center for spectrum cable billing for 2 years, I was fired from spectrum because a customer called the FCC and complained that I wouldn't extend their bill anymore. I literally couldn't they were 45 days past due and had used all their courtesy extensions so the billing system wouldn't allow me too even if I wanted to and I remember transferring that call to a supervisor to handle. I had no history of write ups or even verbal warnings. I feel like there was nothing I could have done in that situation and literally wasn't my fault.After that I worked in a deli inside a grocery store I was also fired from the deli for ringing my self up for a 99 cent can of soda. Again no history of write up or verbal warnings.Then i got my liscense as a life insurance agent. Now the insurance thing I left on my own. The upper management wasn't giving me any leads and basically treating me as a glorified assistant because they wanted me to "prove myself" before they would assign me leads by going door to door to find new clients. I was not comfortable with that. When I was hired I was never told I would have to do that and was not in the job description or explained when I interviewed. I worked really hard and studied for 2 months to get my insurance liscense and felt a little taken advantage of. We were financially falling behind badly because I wasn't getting leads to make money on. So I decided to leave.My husband still had many contacts with other locations of this fast food place so he helped me get a job at a differnet location then his just so we'd have income.It's now 2 years later it I am burned out and fed up. Management gives me maybe 20-25 hours a week if that and we have a staff of 40 when a normal location has maybe 25. There's not enough hours to go around. I try to pick up shifts when I can but its hard because husband and I share a car so often times if management trys to call me to ask me to come in husband has already left with the car and I cant always get a ride from friends. And Im not guaranteed hours like my husband is because he a manager.My Husband also feels burned out from the fast food place and constantly complains about how much he does as a manage for such little pay. But he's not doing anything go find other work. He just complains and comes home stressed and bitches about all aspects of the job his excuse is no one's going to take him anywhere because he's only worked one job. That his resume is lacking.I on the other hand have been looking for better work since I came back. I've been searching carefully though. I didn't want to end up in another place that will toss you out after your first mistake. Or something that I'm going to hate but work just because of the money. I wanted a career not just a job if that makes sense. I finally found something that sounds perfect and have an interview next week. Problem is the interview is at the companies home office in another city about an hour away.We had one of our best friends die in a freak accident on the freeway in high school that was horrific and has scared me ever since. I almost didn't get my liscense because if it. I can drive on the free way locally but long distance or out of town freaks me out and give me a severe panic attack.I assumed my husband would be fine taking me as it is such a great opportunity and Id be making more then him with opportunity for raises every 6 months. But instead he said "are you sure you want to do this? And your not going to fuck up or get fired again or just decided to quit just because it gets to hard for you or not going your way? Or call out all the time like you do now" when I got fired from spectrum and the deli at the time he was SO supportive and was like "that's bullshit other then those small incidents you were a model employee" or on those days when my mind got the better of me and I called out he was so caring abd supportive and one of those days he even called out with me! but now suddenly he resents me and says I can't do anything right and hes tired of providing for the home while I sit at home and do "nothing" when often times im deep cleaning and taking care of our animals or looking for other work. But he doesn't trust me to keep a job that not fast food. He expects me to get fired if I go anywhere else. That I thrive at the fast food place and why would I wanna go anywhere else? Why don't you just tough it out and work toward being in management?" And I'm like why would I want to do that when you consitantly complain about manager duties? "Yeah but it's better pay" only by like a dollar more where as if I got this job is be make 7 dollars more an hour then I am now plus guaranteed 40 hours and a set schedule. He essentially told me don't even bother with this new job because I'll probably fail or get fired from it too making him have to work harder to pay rent.Any advice on how to handle this with my husband is appreciated. I really don't know where to go from here. I support him in anything he does even if I have my doubts or don't like or understand his interests. And I would love for him to get a job in something he really loves or is interested in just wish he would take the leap. I also just wish he would support me the same way.Side note: we have renters insurance that covers lost wages for up to 3 months if your terminated from a job so while I understand his logic I don't understand his lashing out at me in anger of possibly having to work harder to make rentTLDR: I've been fired from 2 jobs in the past and quit one because it turned out differnet then the employee explained it to be . Also struggle with mental health so have called out from fast food job maybe twice in the past 2 years because of it and now my husband resents me because of theses failings and told me not to bother trying to get new job because I'll probably fail at that as well.