Don't think my husband loves me anymore

We've been married for over a decade and have two younger kids. He does pretty much nothing to show any interest in me. He rarely says anything nice to me, he never buys me gifts not even for my birthday or Christmas, I always buy him one, actually he's pretty spotty at celebrating my birthday at all, he rarely touches me (even nonsexually) and we don't really have a sex life anymore. He's also talked about bailing twice during our marriages, both times when I/we were going through tough times (one of them was a difficult pregnancy). We don't fight much (or badly when we do), but I feel like he just has no interest in me no matter what I try.

He says I'm not "fun" but quite frankly, I work a full time job, do the bulk of the childcare, and most of the daily housework. And when I try to find fun things to do as a date, he usually shows little interest or even complains. He does not suggest fun dates or activities even if I ask or hell even press for them. He'll often vent to me about stuff but gets upset if I try to share anything going on in my life because he says it's boring or annoys him.

He claims he loves me but you'd never guess from the way he treats me.

I don't want to leave. Despite this all, I still love him. Besides that, we had two young kids and I know what it is like to have divorced parents (and it's not like we're fighting or mean to each other either). Plus we just have a nice stable situation with a lovely house, etc.

I guess, I don't know if I should stop trying and just assume we live like roommates or keep trying to rekindle a spark. I feel like I'm doing all the emotional labor here. And if I give up on rekindling things, how do I live in a marriage like this without being being so lonely without cheating?

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Edited to add: He would not do counseling.

Submitted April 30, 2019 at 03:06PM

We've been married for over a decade and have two younger kids. He does pretty much nothing to show any interest in me. He rarely says anything nice to me, he never buys me gifts not even for my birthday or Christmas, I always buy him one, actually he's pretty spotty at celebrating my birthday at all, he rarely touches me (even nonsexually) and we don't really have a sex life anymore. He's also talked about bailing twice during our marriages, both times when I/we were going through tough times (one of them was a difficult pregnancy). We don't fight much (or badly when we do), but I feel like he just has no interest in me no matter what I try.He says I'm not "fun" but quite frankly, I work a full time job, do the bulk of the childcare, and most of the daily housework. And when I try to find fun things to do as a date, he usually shows little interest or even complains. He does not suggest fun dates or activities even if I ask or hell even press for them. He'll often vent to me about stuff but gets upset if I try to share anything going on in my life because he says it's boring or annoys him.He claims he loves me but you'd never guess from the way he treats me.I don't want to leave. Despite this all, I still love him. Besides that, we had two young kids and I know what it is like to have divorced parents (and it's not like we're fighting or mean to each other either). Plus we just have a nice stable situation with a lovely house, etc.I guess, I don't know if I should stop trying and just assume we live like roommates or keep trying to rekindle a spark. I feel like I'm doing all the emotional labor here. And if I give up on rekindling things, how do I live in a marriage like this without being being so lonely without cheating?​Edited to add: He would not do counseling.