Trying to save my marriage. Need advice

My wife (23F) and I (23M) have been married for 2 years. We feel in love and married young but it hasn’t been what I thought marriage would be. We’ve had a lot of financial struggles because I was laid off from my job so we moved across country because I found another job. Throughout the beginning of our marriage both of us have been miserable at different times.

Most of our marriage has been up and down. When things were good they were really good. But when things were bad they were some of the worst times of both of our lives.

For the last 6 months of so I’ve been struggling with some deep depression ( which my wife is aware of). I believe this is a big part of why I’m struggling so much with marriage. However, for the last few months it seems like all me and my wife do is fight.

Our sex life has basically died and is nonexistent. And on top of that my wife told me the other day that she has been holding anger and resentment towards me for things that happened in the past.

She has brought up the “divorce” word in a couple times in the last few months. I don’t think she wants a divorce though so I’m not overly concerned with that at the moment. What I am concerned with is myself. I’ve been thinking a lot about an affair or divorce and I honestly don’t want either of those to happen. I love my wife, but my physical and emotional needs aren’t being met at all and it is making me miserable in my marriage and I’m so lost on what I need to do to change it. I hate that I am having thoughts about cheating and divorce because I don’t want either of those to things to happen. I don’t know if my wife feels the same way I do, but I can at least tell she isn’t as happy as she was when we first got married.



Submitted April 30, 2019 at 09:57PM

My wife (23F) and I (23M) have been married for 2 years. We feel in love and married young but it hasn’t been what I thought marriage would be. We’ve had a lot of financial struggles because I was laid off from my job so we moved across country because I found another job. Throughout the beginning of our marriage both of us have been miserable at different times.Most of our marriage has been up and down. When things were good they were really good. But when things were bad they were some of the worst times of both of our lives.For the last 6 months of so I’ve been struggling with some deep depression ( which my wife is aware of). I believe this is a big part of why I’m struggling so much with marriage. However, for the last few months it seems like all me and my wife do is fight.Our sex life has basically died and is nonexistent. And on top of that my wife told me the other day that she has been holding anger and resentment towards me for things that happened in the past.She has brought up the “divorce” word in a couple times in the last few months. I don’t think she wants a divorce though so I’m not overly concerned with that at the moment. What I am concerned with is myself. I’ve been thinking a lot about an affair or divorce and I honestly don’t want either of those to happen. I love my wife, but my physical and emotional needs aren’t being met at all and it is making me miserable in my marriage and I’m so lost on what I need to do to change it. I hate that I am having thoughts about cheating and divorce because I don’t want either of those to things to happen. I don’t know if my wife feels the same way I do, but I can at least tell she isn’t as happy as she was when we first got married.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more